Puppy Love

We decided to add to our furry family and get a Labradoodle. We've got two shihtzu's, Wrigley and Roxy, and now that we are in a bigger home with a fenced in back yard, we decided now was the time for a bigger dog. We did some research, have a couple of friend's who have them, and decided on this breed because they tend not to shed as much and are super smart.

I came across this breeder by accident. I saw that a friend on FB's wife tagged him in a post about her friend's puppies. I messaged the lady asking questions and we went out there last night to look. They have the dad, Taggart (a 3 year old English Lab) and Hazel (a standard poodle) on site with the 11 puppies.

We couldn't decide on girl's name but all of us agreed on a few boys names so I felt more led to look at the males, after we loved on all of them of course!

Coming home next week is this little beauty. His name is Diesel.

Time to Confess- 11/21/2014

I confess: I agreed to host a LulaRoe party at my house. It's a super cute maxi skirt/leggings kind of party. I like the idea of the party, but I have anxiety over if no one shows up and the host wastes her time.

I confess: My friend lost her barely 18 year old daughter to suicide two weeks ago. Another child (a 10 year old) in a neighboring town hung himself this week. My heart is absolutely broken for these kids. WHY?! What is so bad in their little lives that they do this?

I confess: I feel like I am called to do something. But what? I am praying for God to open a door in the direction he wants me to go. Is it Youth Ministry again? I don't know... but we've got to do something in our community.

I confess: Our church is moving to a new building. A very cool new building with state of the art- everything. We've come a long ways from where we started in a little storage unit. God is doing big things in the city of Ogden, UT.

I confess: I cannot believe next week is Thanksgiving. I am not sure where this year has gone. I have definitely been blessed and am so thankful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Lovin' Influenster

A few years back, I heard about something called Influenster. It's a program that you sign up for, they send you quizzes, and if you match up you get to test out products. I've had things as little as a new flavor of gum to a box of MaryKay product to the new ZZZQuil plug in.

Often times when I try something new, I think "boy, who tested this? this is terrible" if I don't like it and I am thankful for the opportunity to be a tester for a variety of things so I can give my honest feedback on how things are.

Check it out: www.influenster.com. It doesn't take a lot of effort and you get to try out some really cool products!

#Influenster #InfluensterApp

Hello. I'm a Christian.

               

In my best Newsboys singing voice:
                                                   In this time of desperation

When all we know is doubt and fear
There is only one foundation
We believe, we believe
In this broken generation
When all is dark, You help us see
There is only one salvation
We believe, we believe

We believe in God the Father
We believe in Jesus Christ
We believe in the Holy Spirit
And He's given us new life
We believe in the crucifixion

We believe that He conquered death
We believe in the resurrection
And He's comin' back again, we believe

So, let our faith be more than anthems
Greater than the songs we sing
And in our weakness and temptations
We believe, we believe!

We believe in God the Father!
We believe in Jesus Christ!
We believe in the Holy Spirit!
And He's given us new life!
We believe in the crucifixion!
We believe that He conquered death!
We believe in the resurrection!
And He's comin' back again!

Let the lost be found and the dead be raised!
In the here and now, let love invade!
Let the church live loud our God we'll say
We believe, we believe!
And the gates of hell will not prevail!
For the power of God, has torn the veil!
Now we know Your love will never fail!
We believe, we believe!

We believe in God the Father
We believe in Jesus Christ
We believe in the Holy Spirit
And He's given us new life!
We believe in the crucifixion!
We believe that He conquered death!
We believe in the resurrection!
And He's comin' back,
He's comin' back again!
He's comin' back again!
We believe!
We believe

I believe every single word in this song... I can sing this song in worship feeling 110% convicted that Jesus came to earth, died a sinless death as hung on a cross, three days later rose from the grave... all because God loves me that much.

I grew up in religion. I grew up with the understanding that I would have to ask forgiveness in a dark little box with man on the other side of the grated wall. I am not sure what sins I had at that young age that I needed to have a panic attack about confessing. I wasn't sure why I needed to talk to a priest when I was already talking to God in my prayers. I wasn't sure how being sent back to a pew to say a few Hail Mary's was going to wipe the slate clean until the next time I was forced to go to confession again. I just knew I had to do that to be worthy of taking communion each week. All in the life of a Catholic student, I guess. 

Since those days, I have come into a real relationship (please note, I did not say religion) with Jesus Christ. I have invited Jesus into my heart to be my Lord and Savior. I know I am not perfect, that's why I need Him. I was not made to be perfect. I was made to love God and love others. My salvation is not based on how many prayers I say, how many good works I do. My salvation is based on my love of Jesus. 

Right now, in the Land of Mormons (Yes, I am from Utah. No, I am not Mormon. No, they don't have horns.) they just had their biannual church conference and there was a big to-do about Mormons being Christian and a new movie "Meet the Mormons" that is coming out. Although I have many friends and even family members who are LDS/Mormon, I do not believe their church teaches Christianity. I believe their church teaches religion. I believe they follow man made rules that their prophet calls them to believe. I do not believe that Jesus is the brother of Satan. I do not believe that we are going to be gods and have our own planet when we die. I do not believe that I need special permission to go into a building to do secret acts to earn my way to the highest level of heaven. I do not believe that I need to baptize dead relatives. I do not believe that we need any other set of instructions outside of the Holy Bible. 

I believe Mormons have good hearts and are good people. I am blessed to live in the community that I do because they are very caring people and good neighbors. I just pray that one day they will see the light of Christ and realize that salvation isn't as hard as they make it out to be. 

Utah has a lot of hopes of perfection... and that leads to a lot of antidepressants, plastic surgery, and suicide. My heart aches for these wonderful people and the brokenness I see that comes from their church. I pray that the light of Christ comes through my words and actions... that someone will come to know Jesus through that.

We believe in God the Father

We believe in Jesus Christ

We believe in the Holy Spirit

And He's given us new life!

We believe in the crucifixion!

We believe that He conquered death!

We believe in the resurrection!

And He's comin' back,

He's comin' back again!

He's comin' back again!

We believe!

We believe

I do believe... with my whole heart. God is so good! 

Confessing on a Friday 10/10/14

I Confess:
I love watching I Am Second videos. I love hearing people's stories and how their lives have changed, thanks to Jesus.

I Confess:
I was watching TV last night and I was horrified by the commercials that were on. Commercials that were promoting pornography and adultery.  My heart aches because I know the consequences of those things.

I Confess:
We are making progress at the house. Still have TONS of boxes in the garage, but we're getting there. I am going to celebrate when it's done!

I Confess:
I am ready for fall to be here (if I can find my boots!) but I am not looking forward to cold weather and illnesses. I've had a cold for the past 3 weeks and I am ready to be over it.

I Confess:
We are taking the kids to Frightmares at Lagoon on Sunday. I do not like haunted houses, but two of the four of us do, so me and Drew will go ride rides and let Ty and Bryan go get spooked :)

Friday Confessionals 10/03/2014

I Confess:
I am proud of my hubby and his hard work getting us moved into our new house. I HATE moving things and he took charge and got it taken care of.

I Confess:
I don't like all the boxes in the garage that we still need to go through, but it's not as overwhelming as if they were in the house.

I Confess:
I had a meltdown waiting for a train this morning... I am not sure where it came from, but I started bawling in my car. It had to do with my BFF that I recently reconnected with and how much I've missed over the past 18 years and what I don't feel like I know about him that I should. (Sorry for the 6am text asking your favorite music, Tony!)

I Confess:
Football is done for the season. Drew played great, we LOVED the coaches in our new town. We didn't make it to the playoffs, but to see the progress in my boy was good enough for me. 

Friday Confessions 09/19/2014

I confess: I went to a heartbreaking funeral this week. A friend of mine from church got wrapped up in some bad stuff and made some bad choices and his life was ended in a shootout with police. Never would I have guessed this kind of thing was going on in his life.

I confess: my 6 year anniversary is tomorrow. My uber-sweet hubby got me a new lens for my camera that he gave me last week so I could use it for Drew's football games. He also sent me flowers and a balloon to work. They smell soooo good!

I confess: we go to sign on our house today. There are just a few little things left to do (deadbolts, paint touch up, etc) this morning and then we close this afternoon. It turned out better than expected and I love it. Bryan walks around in awe because he never thought he'd have such a nice place. We are so blessed!

I confess: I am thankful for my parents for letting us stay with them the past 4 months. As much as my dad says he's glad we are moving out, I think he is really going to miss the kids.

I confess: I am also thankful for my dear friend Andi who watched our dogs the past 4 months. She is a total blessing to us. 

John 10:10?

Earlier last week, I reached out to a lady at church named Penny who is the sister of one of my friends. I hadn't seen my friend on Facebook recently so I was asking her sister if she was doing ok and if she needed anything from her recent ankle surgery.

Penny told me that her sister was doing well and asked how our house was coming a long. She asked me exactly where it is because they lived in the next town over from us and thought it was cool that we'd be "neighbors".

Saturday afternoon, I got a message on Facebook from Penny asking if I'd be at church the next day and if so, could we talk for a bit. Uh, sure. All these things were running through my head but I assumed it had to do with her sister.

I found her after first service and we took a seat at the back of the sanctuary. She told me that she hopes I don't think she is weird for what she was about to say... and what she was about to say completely took me off guard.

She said recently she's been thinking about if God really knows her and if she needs to choose Him or if He already knows and loves her. A song came on the radio and it said something about God knows her and loves her and she burst into tears. Saturday morning, she woke up and started her prayers and again asked God if He really knows her name... and started to say something about Saul (from the bible) and said something about "Kill, Steal, and Destroy" and when those words came out of her mouth, she felt like she was lifted out of her body (and she was awake during this time!) and felt herself flying in the sky over the freeway, over a store that's in between our house, and she knew she was going to my new house, although she'd never been there. She said she said "God, why am I going to Lisa's house?" as she saw two people at my house and she said clear as day, she heard Him say the word "Warn". She kept asking over and over "God, why do I need to warn Lisa? Is she in trouble? Is something going to happen?".

As she's telling me this, I am thinking what a weird dream she had... until she reminded me that it wasn't a dream, she was awake during this. The only reason her eyes were closed were because she was praying.

She said she doesn't have a spiritual gift... that she's really never had something happen like this and she needed to let me know to take extra precautions to be safe.

So ever since then, I have been asking God to reveal to me what that was all about. How the words "Kill, Steal, and Destroy" set off such a feeling and what I needed to be warned about... and who the two people at my house were. She said that she felt very strongly about telling me. I don't know what to think about this...


***Updated 09/17/2014***

I've been praying about this, trying not to freak out. I truly believe that God uses people to send messages. Sometimes we are too stubborn to listen for ourselves, I guess. The more I am praying, the more I feel like it's something other than a physical warning. I feel like maybe Satan is mad. Jesus is doing a lot of big things in my family and we are very blessed. To show our gratitude for all He has done, we wrote bible verses all over the framing before the sheet rock. Kind of a "Hands off, Jesus has this house" kind of realization. Yes, I am praying over my family even more than usual. Praying over my marriage that we are strong and only have eyes for each other. Praying over my children to be safe in all they do. There's a lot of bad stuff going on in the world and I know I can't change the most of it so I will just keep my eyes on Jesus and continue to praise Him for his goodness.

Suicide Threat: Not Something To Be "Just Kidding" About.

Last night, after we had all gone to bed, my daughter came rushing into our room. She had her phone in hand and said "Mom, what do I do?" I grabbed her phone to see what she was talking about and it was a message through a social media app saying along the lines of "I've had enough, I don't want to live anymore."

It was a girl from school... a year younger, that Ty doesn't really know that well. I told her to keep talking to her to see what was going on. She said she had been for a while and that the girl said something about cutting herself and posted a picture of a knife next to her.

I asked for the girl's name to look her up on Facebook to see if she has her parents listed. Luckily the first picture I found was of the girl and her dad so I sent him a Private Message that said, " Hello XXXX. My daughter is friends with your daughter, XXXX, and she is posting things on SnapChat saying she wants to end her life. I am hoping that it's not a real threat, but I am not taking a chance and wanted to let you know. Please let me know that you got this message and everything is ok, otherwise I am going to call the police."

I was poking around a bit more on FB waiting on a response and I noticed the dad had a friend in common with our family friend... so I text that girl to see if she has a phone number for them. She said she didn't and by that time the suicidal girl said "That's it, I'm done talking" and quit responding to Ty so I called 911.

When the operator answered and said "What's the address of your emergency?", I started to panic. I've always had 911 anxiety ever since I was little, but I was trying to stay calm for my daughter. I explained that a girl from the local Jr. High is SnapChatting my daughter and making threats to kill herself. I gave as much information as we knew and then our family friend must have said something to her mom b/c then that mom text me and said to try sending a message to the girl's mom instead, so I found her on FB and copied the message to her and she saw it instantly, although didn't reply.

The operator told us that she would send the Sheriff's deputies to the house to check on her and our call ended as the girl's mom replied back to me. She said her daughter is sitting next to her and everything is fine. She said she was just kidding around online.

I told her that regardless if it was a joke or not, we took it seriously and called for help. She told me that the daughter was mad at her for getting in trouble and she welcomed the police to scare her for doing that. She thanked us for caring... then a little while later asked if the cops were still coming because they weren't there yet. I told her as far as I knew, I hadn't talked to them again.

I ended up going to bed... and when I woke up this morning and had a few more messages from the mom. She told me the police came and talked to her... that she admitted to being lonely because her older siblings have moved out of the house and she said what she did. She also told me that the delay on the police was because a 17 year old in the area tried to hang himself and was in serious condition.

My heart broke even more. I don't understand this. This is the 3rd time in year that my daughter has dealt with friends making threats on social media. Three times she's been put in a horrible position to decide what to do. My heart is so heavy for her friends who didn't seek help and ended their lives. What is going on in the world today? Why are these kids feeling like they have no other choice? My heart hurts for this broken world we live in. How often do parents talk to their kids about this? What choices are parents giving their kids? At the time, I didn't know if this girl was serious or not, so I treated it as if she was. I would rather call for help when it be nothing, than to find out later on she was serious and live with that guilt. I pray that if my children were in that situation, that another mom would contact me to let me know.

I am constantly having conversations with my children to know that there is nothing they can do that will change our love for them... nothing they can do that we can't deal with... that suicide is never an option. I just pray this is instilled in their brains. I cannot imagine ever getting that phone call.

This is a good reminder for today... If you need help call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don't suffer in silence, someone will miss you greatly when your gone.

The 2nd Pathology Report is Back...

"There is no morphologic evidence for Hodgkin lymphoma, non-Hodgkin lymphoma or metastatic malignancy"

Praise God!!!

Damn Thyroid and Random Enlarged Lymph Nodes.

A couple of months back, I felt a lump on my neck. I didn't think too much about it at the time because I didn't have any symptoms of anything. I had gone to the doctor in April for a bladder problem and mentioned it and was told it was nothing to worry about, so I didn't.

Fast forward to July. I got home from South Africa and couldn't get my groove back. I thought it was from the insanely long flight home that did me in. My knees hurt terribly on the plane, my legs swelled up, I hardly slept. I just figured my extreme fatigue was jet lag. 

About a week later, I still didn't feel right. I could barely keep my eyes open. My clothes were not fitting well, nor had they been for a couple of months but even the ones I bought right before our trip were tight. I figured with that lump, my weight gain, and my tiredness it was probably a thyroid issue. 

I went to the doctor on Tuesday night, July 22 2014. I got on the scale and flipped out. It was 32 lbs more from where I was a year ago at this time, 14 lbs since my appointment in April. When the doctor came in, I was bawling my eyes out. I was so tired and so frustrated, that crying was my only option at the time. 

She felt around my neck. Told me that the lump is one of the largest nodules she's felt in a long time. Said my symptoms were right on target with an under-active thyroid and sent me to the lab for blood work and to get an U/S appointment for my thyroid. 

I got my U/S appointment for first thing on Friday and my labs were still pending due to the Utah holiday that Thursday. I was told not to expect anything until Tuesday of the next week; however 45 minutes later the doctor called me back with some of my labs and the U/S results.

I was told my thyroid was 4.75 when it should have been under 3. I was told I had multiple nodules on my thyroid. They called in a medication called Armour Thyroid. My B12 (which I have pernicious anemia from) was completely normal, so that must be where my tiredness is coming from... the thyroid.

The U/S said that the lump I can feel is not related to my thyroid issues. They said it showed as a 2.1 cm enlarged lymph node and I needed to go to an ENT for an evaluation. By the time I tried calling my ENT, they were already closed so I called first thing on Monday instead and got an appointment for Tuesday morning.

The ENT wasn't available so I saw his PA. We talked for a bit, he felt my throat, made me drink while he held my throat, etc. He said I more than likely needed an excisional biopsy, but wanted me to get a CT Scan first. I asked why I needed the scan if he was planning on taking it out but he said he needed to know placement, depth, etc. before they removed it. Luckily, they were able to get me in the next day.

I went in for the CT Scan on Wednesday and things were pretty routine. They put a marker where I felt the lump, I laid on the table, they did their thing. When they started the contrast, I got nauseous. My body was hot in the inside and I felt like I was going to pee my pants. When I sat up, I thought I was going to throw up. Blah. I ended up having diarrhea the rest of the night. Yuck!! They told me that I should have the results by the end of the week if not the beginning of the next.

Friday rolled around and the nurse called. The CT Scan results were back and it showed a 2.1 cm lymph node. Well, duh. I already knew that. She wouldn't tell me anything else. She said that it needed to be removed for "further diagnosis" and the next available surgery time is August 20th. Considering she was calling me on August 1st, I kinda freaked out because that's an awful lot of time to wait. That's the day my kids go back to school... our new house should be finishing... and my husband was going out of town. I asked her to talk to the Dr to see if there was anything else he could do or if another ENT could do it sooner.

She called me back a few hours later and said the ENT moved his schedule around and I'd be able to have it removed on Wednesday 8/6/14 instead. Phew. Regardless of the results, I just want to know.

Of course, my mind has been wandering. I talked to a nephew's mom who's had lymphoma. I've Googled way too much. My gut isn't telling me much... I know that the lump is causing me to choke on things and lose my voice, so regardless having it out should help a ton. If it happens to be something cancer related, then we'll deal with it. I have faith that God has a plan for me... so either way, I will be ok. Them not originally scheduling me until 8/20 makes me think it's no big deal if they were willing to wait 3+ weeks to remove it. If they thought it was cancer, then they wouldn't have made me wait that long.

Tomorrow is my pre-op appointment... then I'll find out my surgery schedule... then Wednesday will be surgery. The patient portal doesn't have my CT Scan report posted, so I want to get a copy of that while I am there... and find out how long it takes to get the pathology report back. It's the waiting and unknowing that drives me nuts. Let's just get it done!


***Update: the doctor is pretty sure it's a benign reactive lymphnode. We are waiting on the final pathology report as the sample was sent to another lab for verification. I should know for sure by the end of the week. ***

Kruger National Park - South Africa 2014

Building our Home on a Firm Foundation

On our deck, where I plan to be still, relax, and enjoy the view of God's splendor

I came across an article somewhere about writing bible verses on a new house before it's sheet rocked. I thought it was a fabulous idea to starts your foundation of a new home on the foundation of the bible. We got to a place of building this weekend that it was time to do this, so on Sunday the kids and I along with my mom went over to the new house with Sharpies and a list of bible verses that we thought would fit each room.

Drew didn't really seem interested in helping. He kept wandering from room to room, seeing what we were doing, investigating his new house, but not really wanting to write anything so my mom took over what I had planned for him to do. A little while into it he says, "I want to write my own bible verses in my own room". I asked what he wanted to write and he said he needed to think about it so I assumed we'd be coming back another day to help him.

He then went to get a Sharpie from my mom and started yelling across the room, "How do you spell T-R-E-A-T?". Not knowing what he was doing, I walked into his room and he told me he wanted to do Matthew 7:12. I asked if he knew what it was and he said yes, so trusting him (and googling it later to make sure he was right because I am OCD like that) He wrote out "Treat others the way you want to be treated. Matt.7:12 Golden Rule" on a beam in his room. What an awesome reminder of how we should be every day... and what an awesome reflection of what he is learning in Discovery Rangers!

Here are a few of the others we decided to write:

Above the front door

Mom wrote this in the dining area

Ty wrote this in her closet.

In the master bedroom

Hallway

Just a Boy and His Dogs

One of the biggest adjustments that Drew has had to make during this house building experience is not having his dogs with him. Because my parent's dogs doesn't play well with others, we had to find somewhere for them to go until our house is done.

Thankfully, our friend Andi does small dog rescue from her house so adding a couple more to her mix wasn't too big of a deal. She has been a life saver and we appreciate her so much.

Today is our Roxy's (black Shih tzu) birthday. We are going to guess that she is 4 years old and we use today as her birthday as it's the day 3 years ago that she was rescued from the shelter. She was so underweight, matted fur, just a mess when we got her.

Drew wanted to get her a birthday present so he bought her a bag of treats to share with all the friends at Andi's house :)

Framing

Last Friday they started framing our house. They ran into some issues with the temporary power so we are a few days behind, but we are making progress.

The framer told me that the stairs to the basement would be put in today... the roof trusses will be put in by Monday, and the inside framing will be done by the end of the week. We'll see how it goes!