Time To Ramble

I think for a long time, my goal in life was to keep the peace. To not ruffle feathers, to not stir the pot, to not ::: fill in the blank ::: to make people more comfortable.

Recently, I have some communication from people of my past and I just put on a smile and say "Oh, things are great... please stay in touch". When I really just want to say, "Our relationship was a chapter in my life that I've moved on from. Thanks for what you've taught me" and walk away.

I've had some hurtful situations in the last while... some people stabbed me in the back when I thought they were my friends, some people threw me under the bus when it was convenient for them. Turned stories around to make them look better when I had no idea what they were talking about. I've heard what a terrible person I am, that I am not trustworthy, and that I am two-faced and no one likes me. I have also been told that I am a fake Christian. Really?!

Let me tell you, those words shook me to the core although I just  accepted it at the time because I didn't want the confrontation I really wanted to give them a piece of my mind. I know I am not all those horrible things... I know (now) that the person who used all those words did it to better themselves in the eyes of someone influential. People do/say funny things when they are threatened or feel like they are forgotten. Do I approve of that behavior? No, but I kind of understand why it could be done. 

So to set the record straight... I am a hard worker. I am truthful and honest although I will not sugarcoat things to make a situation more tolerable. I do tend just not say anything and maybe I should stand up for myself more. I will not be over the top friendly to make people comfortable and if that comes across as being rude, then I am sorry. It's not my style to talk badly about someone behind their back, so if you hear something that I supposedly said, then ask me about it.  I will not change who I am to make you feel better about yourself. I will not lie to make me look better. If I make a mistake, I'll own up to it and give reasons why I did what I did. Yes, my love of Jesus is genuine... I do go on missions trips to serve the less fortunate... and I am an arm-raising-singing-at-the-top-of-my-voice person that you'll find at church usually three times a week. I may not be perfect, but I am loved by a perfect God!

I am glad that I have moved out of what turned into a toxic environment into something that I feel myself flourish in. My self-esteem is getting back to where it should be, my smile is real, I may not know everything and I am ok with that because I have people around me who are willing to take me under their wing and teach me. 

I thank God for opening doors to new opportunities. Even with closed doors, I am thankful for the situations of my past because I have learned much... but I am even more thankful to be out of certain situations and standing where I am today. 

These feelings have been coming at me for a little while now and writing it out for the blogging world does make me feel better. I hope that this is a way to free me from how I've been feeling so I can really feel like I've moved on with my life. 

Rambling complete. The End.  

Mug O'Comfort Swap

A SWAP you say? A swap that could very well involve COFFEE, you say? Could it be true?! Yippee! It's been a hot minute since I've done a swap, but I am so in the need for some fun mail and some love so this is perfect timing. Thanks to the Chaotic Goddess Swaps for setting this up!

Check it out: http://cgswaps.blogspot.com/2014/02/mug-o-comfort-swap-signups.html

 

Positive and Encouraging

You never know the impact you have on someone, so always be positive and encouraging. I am thankful that my daughter remembered that in a post she made on Facebook, as it resulted in her saving a life.

Cutest Couple- Please Vote!

Please click on the Widget to the left and vote for #25!

Happy 14th Birthday T-Nic

TylerNicole-
I cannot believe you are already 14. Where has the time gone? You have turned into quite the beauty. You are sweet, but oh so sassy. You love Jesus with all your heart. You are athletic. You are friendly. You are caring. You are tenderhearted, although it's something you hide from most. You are mature beyond your years. You have an amazing relationship with your grandparents that reminds me of how I was with mine and what a blessing that is. You are stubborn. You are loved.

I thank You, Lord, for this amazing daughter. Protect her heart while showing her how to love like You love. Guard her thoughts that she may always think the best about others. Put a hedge of protection around her body that she may stay safe and healthy. Let Your goodness shine through her for others to see. In Jesus's mighty name, Amen.

Wanted- Dara Mclean

Lisa, Dara Mclean, and Ty in Vegas at WinterJam 2014

This song speaks to me.I could listen to it over and over again. You can hear it here: http://www.onlylyrics.com/dara-maclean-lyrics-1114760.php

 From when I was little I was told that I was NOT wanted by certain people, that in our culture a girl as a first born wasn't acceptable. I have been through a lot in my life because of those feelings. A few weeks ago we were in Vegas the same time that WinterJam 2013 was going on. We stood in line for a few hours to get our GA seats and Dara Mclean stopped right by where we were standing and sang this song for us. Goosebumps and tears, let me tell you!  After she was done singing my daughter and I went over to meet her. What an awesome experience. I hope this song touches you as much as it does me. God bless!

From the day you were born 
And took your first breath 
You opened your eyes and in came the light 
He was watching you 
But all of your life you couldn't shake the lies in your head 
Saying you're a mistake 
Oh but you were made 
By a God who knows your name 
He doesn't make mistakes 

CHORUS 
You are wanted 
To every broken heart, He stands with open arms 
You are wanted 
To every searching soul, look to the rising sun 
If you're lonely, hurting, gone too far 
To the outcast you come as you are 
For you, you are wanted, you, you are wanted 
You, you are wanted, you, you are wanted 

Let this be the day that joy takes the place 
Of all of the years that shame tried to steal away 
He is calling you 
Lift your eyes to see His face 
Come run into the arms of grace 

CHORUS 

You, you have been marked 
You're set apart 
And He calls you His 
So you don't have to search 
Don't have to look for where you belong 

You are wanted 

CHORUS

Friday Confessional 11/01/13

I Confess: It's been months since I've had my last confession. I Confess: A lot has taken place in that time... a short term missions trip to the DR with my family, a new job, my 5 year anniversary, and contact with my "real" dad. I Confess: I am going to attempt to do better at confessing. I Confess: I am going to Vegas next week. I am so stinking excited! I Confess: I am scared to have teenage kids... we had another teenage death in our community, a suicide. Blows my mind that these kids are taking permanent measures to temporary problems. I pray that with the wisdom I've instilled in my kids and Jesus in their heart, we'll never have to go through that personally, but you never know and it's scary. My heart breaks for the parents and siblings and my prayers go out to them and our community for the loss of a child.