I Confess... 1/4/13

  I Confess... That it is 1 degree in Utah this morning and I am freezing!   I Confess... That tomorrow morning we leave for sunny warm Miami, FL for the BCS National Championship game. Go Irish!!   I Confess... My uncle passed away this last weekend and my son had a meltdown about it last night. My heart hurt for him and our loss.   I Confess... While in Park City, my husband took me shopping, took me to a movie, bought me flowers, bought me some delicious cinnamon ice cream, and cooked me dinner. What a man!   I Confess... I am nervous to leave my kids this weekend... they both have colds and what not, Drew is sad, etc. I am sure they will be fine, but the mother in me is anxious.

New Years 2013

Welcome to 2013! I was counting down the days to get a fresh start with a new year... the last quarter of the year wasn't the favorite time in my life and I am glad to move on from it.

It didnt end quite as well as I hoped... I found out that my uncle passed away on Friday. He had been suffering an illness for years, we moved him here from Chicago to be close to family, and I am glad we had the opportunity to spend that time with him. The kids loved being around him. The medication he had to take was potent and caused his heart to weaken. He died of a heart attack. It's going to be weird not having him around.

My mom didnt tell us until we got home from our trip...she didnt want to ruin our time away, which I appreciate.

On Saturday Bryan suprised me with a trip to Gardner Village in SLC to take pictures. I've been asking to go and we've never had a chance... so on our way to Park City we stopped. It was fun. I think I got some good shots. I'll have to update this once I upload them.

We have a timeshare and one of the places we can go is Park City, which is a little over an hour away from us. We checked in, got situated, and went to dinner at a place called Blue Sushi. It was pricey, but so good.

Sunday we slept in until 11am. Crazy! I never sleep in. We got up and went shopping at the outlet mall. Bryan said I bought them out. I cant help it when the store is 70% off and I need new (smaller!) pants. We went to see "This is 40". It was kinda raunchy, but I laughed a lot.

On Monday we went to Main Street... visited the Harley Davidson store, ate at the Wasatch Brew Pub. Then we went home and just relaxed... took a nap, watched TV. That was New Years Eve and I dont usually stay up past 10pm so I wanted to be well rested.

We got dressed up... and went to the Canyons for their NYE Gala. It was so fun. They had amazing food, cool decorations, a bar, a DJ, everyone was dancing. We are trying to plan it again for next year.

I am so glad me and my hubby got this time away... it was fun to not have much of an agenda and spend all that time together.

I hope everyone had a fun and safe New Years and I pray for a wonderful 2013.

Five Years

Five years ago today; I was home on my bed watching TV. My phone chimed and it was a friend (who I didn't talk to a lot at the time) texting me to see if I was dating anyone. I remember hesitating with my answer.

Remember... I had gotten divorced 2+ years earlier. I had been in a relationship for a year and a half that ended very emotionally. Up until a month before this, I didn't want a boyfriend. I certainly  didn't want a new husband. I didn't even want a new friend. I had taken a good chunk of time to figure out who I was, what I wanted, what my kids deserved... so had this question come even a month earlier I would have told her where to go with that question.

But I remember God healing my broken heart during those times... I remember doing some negative things, some things I am not proud of... but as I got out of that phase of my life, I remember feeling healed and whole again.  It was then that my friend send me a message... when God knew I was ready, not when I was still in a downward spiral.

Even after telling her I was ok for her to give my number to this guy she worked with... I was still pretty jaded toward the opposite sex. During that time in my life, men had hurt me and walked out on me. I had lost trust. I was used. I didn't want to go through that again, just when I felt like I was strong enough to do everything on my own. We (my kids and I) didn't need anyone...

But I agreed to text with him... and meet him for dinner... and have my friends talk me into inviting him out dancing. Then he kissed me and I knew I was done for. I felt like this could turn into a relationship and it scared me. I tried pushing him away... because that's what happens in my life. I push someone away and they go. No one has ever said "Nope, I am staying"... but in this case, he kept coming back. Which was weird to me, a foreign concept.

I remember the deal breaker situation... Valentine's Day 2008. My ex husband was supposed to have the kids and heard I had a date so decided he didn't want them that weekend. Ooo, I got mad. My anger towards him got directed to this new guy. Made me remember why I was hesitant in starting something new with someone else and that my and the kids were just fine without anyone ... so I called him. The conversation was similar to " Sorry, I am going to have to cancel our date. I will have my kids". Waiting for him to either say "Alright, whatever" or "Get a sitter, lets go out"... but I was totally not expecting "That's ok, lets take them with us". WHAT?! Really?

Yup... that's what happened. We took my kids out with us on our Valentine's Day date and that was the day I fell in love with this amazing man. Seven months later, we were in Las Vegas saying "I DO" and starting our life and family together.

I am not saying it's been perfect... we've had some bumps along the way. There have been times I've been on my face in tears and other times that I am overwhelmed with joy.  98% of the last 5 years have been wonderful... but in the 2% that haven't, I've heard God say "It's ok, I've got this... I've got a plan". It's in those times when I praised Him for this man he put in my life when He knew I was ready. For this man who I know loves me with everything in him. For this man who loves my children as his own. Never once did I feel that God wanted me to do anything different in my marriage than what I've done... and in these hard times, I felt His presence and I know my husband has too b/c now we are closer to Him than ever. We pray together, go to church together, and take communion together as husband and wife. I don't know that we'd be to this point if it weren't for the things we've been through. While I don't want to go through these rough patches again, I know there has been goodness happening because of it. God totally has made beauty from the ashes.

I love my husband, always and forever. Thank you, Jesus, for him. Amen.

Christmas 2012

This year we had our kids for the first half of Christmas... I took off Wednesday- Friday before to get last minute things done. Mister Husband was supposed to as well, but ended up having to go to Puerto Rico for work Tuesday-Friday morning, so at least we got Friday and the rest of the holiday together.

On Christmas Eve, we went to our church around 5pm and did the Cookie Giveaway. It's a tradition. We bring in cookie the day or two before, bundle them all up nice and pretty, and then Christmas Eve we distribute them throughout the community to those who have to work. Usually we go to the hospital to give them to the nursing stations and what not, this year we went to the fire station instead. The firemen were so appreciative of the holiday treats.

Then we went back to the church for service. We sang carols and heard 3 different versions of the Christmas Story. This night, we had communion as a family for the first time. All 5 of us. We prayed together and had communion. What a wonderful thing.

We went to IHOP for dinner after service... some had dinner, some had breakfast. We got home and were in bed by 9pm. This is the first year that our youngest didnt believe in Santa (he's now 10, so we had a good run, considering Ty figured it out when she was 4.) so we didnt need to wait up for them to fall asleep. Good thing too, but we may have gone to bed at 9pm but the kids didnt go to sleep until 2ish.

Christmas morning we were up by 7. I think Mister Husband woke everyone up... me included. But considering he brought me coffee in bed to wake me up, I didnt complain too much :)

There were a lot of sport themed gifts given... of course, I got coffee which I am always happy about. After we opened our gifts and the boys played a video game and Ty curled her hair with her new curling wand, we went to my parent for breakfast with all (well, most) of my family. The kids went to their other parents for the rest of the winter break around 1pm and we went back to my parents house for the rest of the day.

I am so blessed by my family... my husband, my kids, my parents, my siblings,inlaws, aunts/uncles, and cousins. I had a wonderful day.

Book of 2 and 3 John

What are you confessing?!

    I Confess: I freaked out yesterday thinking someone took a UPS package off my front porch. Only to later find that I'd already brought it in and put it in my room. Good thing I didn't call the company and tell them it was missing.   I Confess: I think I have everything bought, with the exception of stocking stuffers, and plan to wrap this weekend. Now that my littlest doesn't believe in Santa I guess I can just put them under the tree ahead of time, right?   I Confess: My husband may have to travel for work next week. It's a good opportunity but bad timing as we both took time off work while the kids are still in school to spend time together.   I Confess: My daughter has her first fancy dress dance tonight. Doesn't seem possible... I talked with someone yesterday who was a big part of our lives when she was 5/6 years old and to talk about her going to a dance and almost being 13 was just weird. (Ok, I admit, talking to him at all was just weird)   I Confess: My husband and I are going to Park City for New Years Eve. We are staying in our condo and just relaxing and playing for the most part but on NYE we are going to a ski resort, dressing up, and going dancing at a gala they are throwing. I am so stinking excited!!   I Confess: On 12/28/12 it will be 5 years since I met Mister Husband... Time has flown by. I'd say that 98% of our relationship has been wonderful... that we've been tested the last couple of months, but we are overcoming the obstacles in front of us. God is definitely moving mountains. I sure love my hubby :)

Book of 1 John

Life Project 1st John

Candice Roberts

 

I was first introduced to 1st John in the 80's. There is a song I

used to sing in church that went something like this:

"Beloved, let us love one another

For love is of God and everyone that loveth

Is born of God, and knoweth God

He that loveth not, knoweth not God, for God is love Beloved, let

us love one another

First John 4:7 and 8."

It has a really catchy tune, in the vein of Kumbaya, and is taken

right out of scripture. And yes, we did sing the location of the

verse. The version is King James of course which explains all the

"eths". But this catchy song summarized my knowledge of 1st

John. And to be honest, it is a pretty good summary.

John talks a lot, and i mean A LOT about love. John basically tells

us that in order to know God and to live in him means we must

obey, and to obey is to display Christlike love. As Gary Barge

says in his commentary on the letters of John,"Love becomes a

genuine value only when it is tested, only when we must reach

beyond ourselves and love someone we do not wish to love. This

is the caliber of love John had in mind."

Now can I just tell you that it is easy to be congenial to the

unloveable. Easy to be friendly, pleasant, sociable, kind even. But

it is another thing entirely to love someone. I know what it means

to love. I love my kids. And it is work, as cute as they are. Loving

my children requires sacrifice, giving of myself, making myself

vulnerable. It requires middle of the night, wake me from a dead

sleep comforting of a scared child. It requires listening to endless

tales of injustice and responding with empathy. It requires choir

concerts in hot crowded rooms, award ceremonies in the middle

of my day, carpools, tears wiped, boo boos kissed, spelling words

practiced. Love is full time. Sometimes love hurts. Most of the

time love is inconvenient. All of the time love costs, but they are

my children so I am willing to pay the price.

But am I willing to love the unloveable? I better be. John is

reminiscent of Jesus is that he calls us to love others as

ourselves. Our Lord himself said this was the second greatest

commandment just behind loving God. So I don't see as a have a

really big choice. If I want to please God I must love others, love

my neighbor as myself, love my enemy. Uggghhhh!! Did anyone

else just realize how unlovely they were? I don't want to love my

enemy!! I don't want to love most people. I want to love who I

want to love. But that is not a Christlike kind of love. (Again we

are talking love here, not exchanging pleasantries.)

So how do I do this thing called love that is so foreign to who I

am?? It's a simple solution. Galatians 5 "the fruit of the Spirit is

love....." it is God who produces the fruit of love in us. We are not

capable of the type of love we have been called to; which does

not excuse us from any responsibility. Good fruit can only grow in

a particular type of soil. We are responsible for our soil. Are we

keeping it soft by spending time with our Lord? Are we pulling up

the weeds of sin as quickly as they grow? Are we watering the soil

with the Word and time spent in prayer? If so, then the Spirit will

cultivate fruit in our lives. And one of those fruits will be love.

Before long we will all be loving each other, arm in arm, swaying

in the breeze, and singing Kumbaya. I can't wait!!