I hate bad dreams... even more so when they come to life.

Last night I had a bad dream... without going into alot of detail, it was about my mom being admitted to the hospital and no one told me. I woke up at 3am in tears.

I spoke to her earlier today and she sounded great. I was even gonna tell her about my dream this morning when I had her on the phone... but we got talking about other stuff and I forgot about it.

It's Tuesday so we headed over to my parents after I picked the kids up from daycare like we have been doing since chemo started. When I got there, my mom pulled me aside....

I think my dream was deja vu.

My mom had a portacath placed under the skin on her chest which allows the chemo to go right to her heart to be pumped through her body without having to be stuck with needles every time. I guess last night she noticed some unusual pain and swelling in her arm so she called her doctor. They had her come in right away and took her to get an U/S. She has a blood clot.

They gave her some options. To be admitted to the hospital for an IV with Comedin and Heprin or she could increase the oral Comedin she is on and give herself injections of Heprin at home. She chose the later option. She showed me her belly and she has huge bruises where she has to inject the medicine. I guess she has to do those shots for 5 days and will be checked again.

I was hysterical. I had to walk outside to get a grip. She told me she didnt tell me earlier b/c she knew I was going to see her tonight and she wanted to tell me where I could see she was ok. She said she feels good, its just a side effect of chemo. Again the doctor said she is amazing and is setting new standards for the rest of his patients b/c if it had been anyone else, they would be in the hospital.

I am glad the doctor feels good about it... but it freaks me out.