My thoughts...10-1

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:
- You need to pay for the actions you take, not make others pay for you.
- I have finally figured out that the world doesn’t revolve around you. I just hope you can figure that out before you lose someone else.
- You are what we have been missing in our lives.
- It’s time to grow up, move on, and be a father.
- Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
- I don’t know how you do it, but I know why you do it and for that… thank you.
- I’m scared.
- You dont abandon family.
- I don’t want the worry, let’s just do it.
- I am sorry.

Nine Things About Myself:
- I try hard. I just hope its good enough…
- I am independent, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need people.
- I bite my lip when I get nervous and cry when I am scared.
- I have a strong belief in the power of prayer.
- My kids are my world.
- I wish I could cook. Really cook. The kind that doesn't require scissors and microwaves.
- I have some serious decisions to make.
- I am turning into a tattoo addict.
- I am getting married in 30 days.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
- Love my kids.
- Make me laugh.
- Be honest and sincere.
- Clean my house.
- Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t.
- Write to me.
- Just hold my hand.
- Support me, not monetarily- I can take care of myself. I want physical, mental, and spiritual support.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:
- My mom has breast cancer.
- I am getting married in month.
- The Raptors baseball season is almost over.
- The sunburn on my stomach STILL hurts.
- My kids are growing up.
- Is mom’s BRCA results back yet?
- I hate filling up my car with gas.

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
- Check my email.
- Check my MySpace.
- Read a book.
- Pee.
- Check the alarm at least 3 times.
- Tell the kids goodnight.

Five People Who Mean A Lot:
- Mom
- Bryan
- Ty
- Drew
- Jenn
(Sorry! Don't feel robbed! I only had 5 spots. That doesn't mean there aren't a BUNCH of other people who belong on that list!)

Four Things You're Wearing Right Now:
- brown/tan/cream skirt
- brown shirt
- flip flops
- jewelry

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):
- “I can only imagine” Mercy Me
- “Say Goodbye” DMB
- “Swing” Trace Atkins

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
- Not have any debt.
- See my daughter get married.

One Confession:
Growing up, I didn’t expect to have divorced parents. When I got married, I certainly didn’t expect to get divorced. I thought I would do everything perfect so I wouldn’t have to put my kids through what I went through. That didn’t happen, and now I have learned it was for the better and I do not regret any choice that I made. I realized God had other plans for me/us.

Something I found out along the way, is I only have control over me, not what those around me choose to do. I can choose to do what I feel is best for myself and my kids. I can choose to raise my kids in the best way I see fit. I can choose to make decisions about my future health. I can choose to get remarried and be a step-mom to a great kid. I can choose to give 100% into something I believe in and that’s what I am doing. I just have to have faith that God knows what he is doing.