I just found out that mom is going to have her port-a-cath removed from her chest tomorrow... Its supposed to be an easy surgery, but I am still worried. I hate thinking of her going through everything.
If everything goes well, she will start radiation the first week of January. Its 30 treatments, M-F for 6 weeks. Very aggressive, but she said she'd rather do that then chemo!
Keep her in your prayers!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Damn Saliva Gland...
Three years ago this past October, my daughter got a strange lump on the side of her neck, under her jaw. I took her to the doctor who sent us to an ENT who sent us for testing (CT, MRI, blood work etc) and ended up doing a lymph node biopsy. It ended up not being Hodgkin’s Lymphoma as they thought it may have been but an infection in her salvia gland.
They treated her with antibiotics… and it didn’t come back for about 6 months… then again in 3 months… then monthly. There was even a time that she was on antibiotics 2x in a month for the same thing. It started out on her right side and now both sides are affected. She has gone down to Primary Children’s for a Sialogram twice.
I asked about removing the gland and was told there runs a chance of nerve damage and facial paralysis, as well as a big scar so he didn’t want to do.
I even took her to a chiropractor for a while who said her axis was off line so he adjusted her and she was good for about 9 months then it started again. Since then, that chiro is no longer on my insurance so we went to another one and it didn’t work this time… she swelled right up again within 3 wks.
I am frustrated beyond belief. Her poor little face swells up, sometimes so bad that it squishes up her eye. She can’t open her mouth to chew anything so she is pretty much on a liquid diet. Hot compresses and sour candy don’t help anymore.
During our last ENT appointment he said that we have done everything we can and our next option would be to remove the gland. There is risk involved as I mentioned before so I told him I wanted to think about it and he said to call him back in 3 months.
Well, yesterday she called me from school and said her lump is back and she has yucky stuff in her mouth and she thinks she is gonna throw up. I went to pick her up and filled her prescription. I then called the Dr saying I want to have the surgery scheduled. They called me back today and said he wants to see her again on Thursday to discuss options.
Hell, I thought we are out of options!! I have prepared myself for her to go through this surgery. I just want it done with it. I am tired of her being in pain all the time, I am tired of being sad of listening to her whimper when there is nothing more I can do to help her, I am tired of her being on antibiotics so much that we are so close to only having IV ones work… all I want to do is cry. I don’t like seeing my baby in pain like this.
They treated her with antibiotics… and it didn’t come back for about 6 months… then again in 3 months… then monthly. There was even a time that she was on antibiotics 2x in a month for the same thing. It started out on her right side and now both sides are affected. She has gone down to Primary Children’s for a Sialogram twice.
I asked about removing the gland and was told there runs a chance of nerve damage and facial paralysis, as well as a big scar so he didn’t want to do.
I even took her to a chiropractor for a while who said her axis was off line so he adjusted her and she was good for about 9 months then it started again. Since then, that chiro is no longer on my insurance so we went to another one and it didn’t work this time… she swelled right up again within 3 wks.
I am frustrated beyond belief. Her poor little face swells up, sometimes so bad that it squishes up her eye. She can’t open her mouth to chew anything so she is pretty much on a liquid diet. Hot compresses and sour candy don’t help anymore.
During our last ENT appointment he said that we have done everything we can and our next option would be to remove the gland. There is risk involved as I mentioned before so I told him I wanted to think about it and he said to call him back in 3 months.
Well, yesterday she called me from school and said her lump is back and she has yucky stuff in her mouth and she thinks she is gonna throw up. I went to pick her up and filled her prescription. I then called the Dr saying I want to have the surgery scheduled. They called me back today and said he wants to see her again on Thursday to discuss options.
Hell, I thought we are out of options!! I have prepared myself for her to go through this surgery. I just want it done with it. I am tired of her being in pain all the time, I am tired of being sad of listening to her whimper when there is nothing more I can do to help her, I am tired of her being on antibiotics so much that we are so close to only having IV ones work… all I want to do is cry. I don’t like seeing my baby in pain like this.
Monday, December 8, 2008
PSS: Traditions
Kim asked “What are your family's traditions? To add… as a child and/or as an adult and not just at Christmas. “
Some of my family traditions as a child were:
*going to the children’s service at church then over to my grandparents on Christmas Eve.
*having all my cousins and family over for Easter and my aunt would wrap gifts in different paper and she would give us a scrap of that paper and a color and we had to go out in the yard to find our gifts/eggs. (That way no one fought over things, they were already assigned)
*Sunday dinners with the whole family at my grandparent’s house.
*going to Indianapolis over Christmas break to stay with my cousins and going to whatever Disney movie that was just released.
Some of my family traditions as an adult are:
*having the kids put their shoes out for St Nick on Dec 5th so when they wake up on the 6th they are filled with treats.
*doing Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday before Thanksgiving so everyone doesn’t have to rush around to multiple houses and we can enjoy our time together more.
*going to the Hogle Zoo on Easter.
*going to the children’s service at church on Christmas Eve.
And something new we just started was Tuesday night dinner with my parents. Normally we spend a good part of the weekend at my parent’s house but when my mom had chemo on Thursdays she didn’t feel up to visitors but she wanted to make sure she saw the kids at east 1x a week so we go over there on Tuesdays for dinner now.
Bryan always goes to his brother’s house to drink and play games on New Years Eve, so that will be a new tradition for me. This year (although we aren’t supposed to) we will have my kids with us, so I am packing up some kids games, PJ’s, and sleeping bags and taking them with us for a sleepover.
Some of my family traditions as a child were:
*going to the children’s service at church then over to my grandparents on Christmas Eve.
*having all my cousins and family over for Easter and my aunt would wrap gifts in different paper and she would give us a scrap of that paper and a color and we had to go out in the yard to find our gifts/eggs. (That way no one fought over things, they were already assigned)
*Sunday dinners with the whole family at my grandparent’s house.
*going to Indianapolis over Christmas break to stay with my cousins and going to whatever Disney movie that was just released.
Some of my family traditions as an adult are:
*having the kids put their shoes out for St Nick on Dec 5th so when they wake up on the 6th they are filled with treats.
*doing Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday before Thanksgiving so everyone doesn’t have to rush around to multiple houses and we can enjoy our time together more.
*going to the Hogle Zoo on Easter.
*going to the children’s service at church on Christmas Eve.
And something new we just started was Tuesday night dinner with my parents. Normally we spend a good part of the weekend at my parent’s house but when my mom had chemo on Thursdays she didn’t feel up to visitors but she wanted to make sure she saw the kids at east 1x a week so we go over there on Tuesdays for dinner now.
Bryan always goes to his brother’s house to drink and play games on New Years Eve, so that will be a new tradition for me. This year (although we aren’t supposed to) we will have my kids with us, so I am packing up some kids games, PJ’s, and sleeping bags and taking them with us for a sleepover.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
My BFF
Let me just take a moment to tell you I have the greatest best friend ever.
My BFF's name is Blake. We met right after I was made a coach at AOL. He was terrified to be on my team, our first conversations were about colonoscopies, and here we are years later... and he is a part of my family.
Blake house-sits, dog-sits, and baby-sits for me, my parents, my aunt... He is with us on holidays and family events. He goes shopping at Victoria's Secret, fixes computers, and has the hook up with car repair.
I talked Blake out of marrying someone I didnt think was right for him (and he continually thanks me for this!), I talked about him on my first date with Bryan b/c if someone I was dating wasnt ok with my best friend being a boy, the dating would end there. Luckily for me, Blake and Bryan have formed a friendship now and I am able to have both my boys around all the time.
Being the funny person I am, I made a "date my friend" posting on Craig's List a while back... until he made me take it down b/c someone figured out it was him.
He is so supportive of what my mom is going through and has spent money and time to support the cure for breast cancer.
He is someone I can tell anything to... someone I can just hang out with and will go to chick flicks with (although, the last one showed a Irish guys ass so I had to make up for it with something with girls in a hot tub)... someone I like to go get a drink with just to take a break from life.
My life is definately better for having Blake in it and I wanted to take a moment to tell everyone he is a wonderful friend!
Tag: Then and Now
20 years ago:
1. I was 10 yrs old.
2. It was my last Christmas with my Nannie
3. I lived in South Bend Indiana
10 years ago:
1. I was working at AOL
2. I was living in South Ogden, Utah
3. I was married
5 years ago:
1. I was living in Roy Utah
2. I got really sick, but thankfully made a full recovery.
3. I had 2 kids
3 years ago:
1. I was divorced
2. I was spending the holidays with my ex-boyfriend's family, who I adored.
3. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
1 year ago:
1. I was living in North Ogden UT
2. I had my first Christmas morning alone
3. I met Bryan on Dec 28... who would have thought we are where we are today?
So far this year:
1. I got married
2. I got another tattoo
3. Survived a layoff (although still nervous)
Yesterday:
1. I got my nails done
2. Went out with my brother and his girlfriend. who is also one of my best friends!
3. Did some Christmas shopping
Today:
1. I went to church
2. Threatened all the boys b/c they drank my diet pepsi
3. On my way to get sushi
Tomorrow:
1. Go to work
2. Do homework with my kids
3. Make dinner
Next year:
1. I will go back to Bible Camp
2. Hopefully lose weight
3. Continue to love the man I married.
I tag: Amy and Monica!!
1. I was 10 yrs old.
2. It was my last Christmas with my Nannie
3. I lived in South Bend Indiana
10 years ago:
1. I was working at AOL
2. I was living in South Ogden, Utah
3. I was married
5 years ago:
1. I was living in Roy Utah
2. I got really sick, but thankfully made a full recovery.
3. I had 2 kids
3 years ago:
1. I was divorced
2. I was spending the holidays with my ex-boyfriend's family, who I adored.
3. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
1 year ago:
1. I was living in North Ogden UT
2. I had my first Christmas morning alone
3. I met Bryan on Dec 28... who would have thought we are where we are today?
So far this year:
1. I got married
2. I got another tattoo
3. Survived a layoff (although still nervous)
Yesterday:
1. I got my nails done
2. Went out with my brother and his girlfriend. who is also one of my best friends!
3. Did some Christmas shopping
Today:
1. I went to church
2. Threatened all the boys b/c they drank my diet pepsi
3. On my way to get sushi
Tomorrow:
1. Go to work
2. Do homework with my kids
3. Make dinner
Next year:
1. I will go back to Bible Camp
2. Hopefully lose weight
3. Continue to love the man I married.
I tag: Amy and Monica!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
PSS: Christmas Memories
Shane asks "Tell us about your most-memorable childhood Christmas."
I am not sure I have a memorable one specifically. I think its a lot of little bits and pieces from multiple Christmases.
As a child:
* Getting to be Mary in the play. I sang a solo.
* Opening presents at my Grandparent's house, after we snooped and saw a lot of them.
* Getting a Cabbage Patch Kid
* Going skiing on Christmas afternoon.
As an adult:
* My first Christmas married (to the ex)- how thankful I was that they made their plans around me going to Mass.
* The Christmases with the kids when they were old enough to start unwrapping gifts. They were so much fun and more interested in the paper and boxes than the toys.
* A sleepover with my ex boyfriend's family on Christmas Eve... the whole family camped out in every spare inch of the house. Drank and played games all night.
* Last Christmas... when I was alone and my kids were with their dad. My best friend planned for us to go to breakfast together on Christmas morning so that I was with someone... and invited my parents along. It was a very special thing to me.
This year will be my first Christmas as a Williams. I look forward to having all 3 kids with us on Christmas Eve and morning. We are going to Children's Service at church on Christmas Eve and breakfast with my family before the kids all go to their other parent's houses.
I am not sure I have a memorable one specifically. I think its a lot of little bits and pieces from multiple Christmases.
As a child:
* Getting to be Mary in the play. I sang a solo.
* Opening presents at my Grandparent's house, after we snooped and saw a lot of them.
* Getting a Cabbage Patch Kid
* Going skiing on Christmas afternoon.
As an adult:
* My first Christmas married (to the ex)- how thankful I was that they made their plans around me going to Mass.
* The Christmases with the kids when they were old enough to start unwrapping gifts. They were so much fun and more interested in the paper and boxes than the toys.
* A sleepover with my ex boyfriend's family on Christmas Eve... the whole family camped out in every spare inch of the house. Drank and played games all night.
* Last Christmas... when I was alone and my kids were with their dad. My best friend planned for us to go to breakfast together on Christmas morning so that I was with someone... and invited my parents along. It was a very special thing to me.
This year will be my first Christmas as a Williams. I look forward to having all 3 kids with us on Christmas Eve and morning. We are going to Children's Service at church on Christmas Eve and breakfast with my family before the kids all go to their other parent's houses.
No, its not an eye booger!
I have had a white bump in the corner of my eye for years... didnt think alot about it, it was small and didnt hurt so I never said anything. In the past 6 months, it began itching and driving me nuts. It must have gotten bigger b/c people will say "You've got something there in the corner of your eye", only for me to reply "its not an eye booger, calm down". Even had someone try to rub it away for me once.
When I went in for my physical, I mentioned it to my dr. She said warm compresses and eye drops. She said its not a stye, its a chalazion (?). If it doesnt go away or keeps bothering me, I should go to an opthamologist.
Little while more, nothing is helping... its still itching, so I found an opthamologist on my insurance and made a call. Ends up he is right down the street from daycare. When I made my appointment. I asked if they will do anything during that appointment or if I need to talk to him and then come back. The receptionist said he would just do a consultation that day.
Well... the receptionist lied. However, I didnt know that until I had picked my kids up from daycare, went to the appointment, got the kids settled in the waiting room doing homework as I went back to talk to the dr. He said it's not a chazalion-whatever... its a cyst. Said its not cancerous so we dont have to take it out... but b/c its bothersome, he would recommend it.
Ok, great. I looked at my phone to see what day I had taken off from work next week to Christmas shop so I could schedule my appointment. Uh, no. He wanted to do it right then. Well, my PCP said he would rub some numbing meds on it and then have a small scaple that would just knick it and it would come out, no pain involved... so I figured it would be ok.
People failed to tell me eye drops, needles, and razor blades would be included. I am going to spare you all the terrible details... and just end this with saying moments of unconciousness and puke were involved.
Because I didnt plan for this ahead of time, and no one would answer their freaking phones, and my children arent tall enough to reach the peddles of the car, I made the office stay open 30 mins after closing to ensure I would be ok to drive.
What a freaking ordeal! Its sore today and I have a headache, but it looks like a normal corner of your eye would like like now... so I guess its all good! LOL
When I went in for my physical, I mentioned it to my dr. She said warm compresses and eye drops. She said its not a stye, its a chalazion (?). If it doesnt go away or keeps bothering me, I should go to an opthamologist.
Little while more, nothing is helping... its still itching, so I found an opthamologist on my insurance and made a call. Ends up he is right down the street from daycare. When I made my appointment. I asked if they will do anything during that appointment or if I need to talk to him and then come back. The receptionist said he would just do a consultation that day.
Well... the receptionist lied. However, I didnt know that until I had picked my kids up from daycare, went to the appointment, got the kids settled in the waiting room doing homework as I went back to talk to the dr. He said it's not a chazalion-whatever... its a cyst. Said its not cancerous so we dont have to take it out... but b/c its bothersome, he would recommend it.
Ok, great. I looked at my phone to see what day I had taken off from work next week to Christmas shop so I could schedule my appointment. Uh, no. He wanted to do it right then. Well, my PCP said he would rub some numbing meds on it and then have a small scaple that would just knick it and it would come out, no pain involved... so I figured it would be ok.
People failed to tell me eye drops, needles, and razor blades would be included. I am going to spare you all the terrible details... and just end this with saying moments of unconciousness and puke were involved.
Because I didnt plan for this ahead of time, and no one would answer their freaking phones, and my children arent tall enough to reach the peddles of the car, I made the office stay open 30 mins after closing to ensure I would be ok to drive.
What a freaking ordeal! Its sore today and I have a headache, but it looks like a normal corner of your eye would like like now... so I guess its all good! LOL
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