October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month... get your mammogram!

Ladies... this is a reminder to get your mammogram. I don't care if you think you are too busy, too poor, too- whatever. Get it done. Take your sister, mom, grandma, or neighbor with you too. This is serious business...

Last week I had my yearly mammogram.Yes, I am young but I am high risk so we do this yearly. I went in on Wednesday afternoon... chitchatting with the tech who was doing it... not thinking a lot and I hear "Something came up on your mammogram, we need you to stay for a while longer". Ok... this happens just about every time I get done. I have fibrous tissue and cysts. Something always shows up. Then I go back for another set of films... something is still there, but not as bad. Ok, that sounds better... I guess. Then they say they want to do a ultrasound... although they are sure nothing is going to show up on it... until something shows up on it and the next thing I know I am scheduled for a biopsy for a few days later.

On the way home, the hospital called me back and said they want to do an MRI before the biopsy so the next day I calm my claustrophobic nerves and go dangle my boobs from an MRI machine. Mind you, the people were awesome and they had music. I think I fell asleep... without Valium, mind you. Huge victory for me.

That evening the hospital calls me back again and said the specialist wants to meet with me Friday morning. Hmmm... maybe its not nothing this time... people always tell me things on the phone. I never have to go in. I spent a lot of time in prayer that evening.

Next morning I went in to the hospital to meet with the specialist who deals only with breast imaging. First thing he tells me is that I caused him heartburn and that he didn't get any sleep the night of my mammogram b/c he thought he was going to tell a 33 yr old mother that she had breast cancer.

He showed me the mammogram images and for not knowing what I was looking at, they looked ugly. It was a white spot of tissue that looked like it had spider legs. I asked him how he knew it was ok and he brought up my MRI and it was clear. If it was cancerous, it would have glowed a blue color.

He suggests I get mammograms done every 6 months now and an MRI once a year. Remember, I have been told in the past "Its a matter of WHEN you get breast cancer and not IF you get it"... so I am all about screening and prevention. If I do get a diagnosis, I want it early. I want a chance to fight it.

So for now... I am breathing a sigh of relief, although it doesn't stop me from my advocacy. Do self-checks, do mammograms, follow up with your doctors, raise funds to help find a cure... the Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk is on October 8th in the SLC area.  If 1 out of 8 of us is going to get it, we cant just sit around and do nothing.

If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

I have been struggling this week with something someone said to me... Without going too deep into it, someone who I consider somewhat close to me is upset with the way I worship Jesus. My music is too loud, my church is disrespectful, my prayers aren't right... That type of thing.

I've been in religion my whole life, but it wasn't until I was in relationship with Him that I figured out what Gods love really is. This isn't about traditions, set prayers, and being quiet. The bible says to make a joyful noise! This is about being head over heels in love with a Savior. This is being so filled with the holy spirit that it oozes out if you. This is having a light in you that attracts others to you b/c they want to hear the good news. This isn't sit in church for an hour on Sunday to get your quota in... This is live every moment in His presence, thanking Him with every breath, there is no end to prayer... Be in constant dialog with the Lord.

 I went to worship tonight with a heavy heart. I've been through a lot this week... Some health issues, kid issues, then this friend problem and I just wanted rest. I keep replaying the conversation with her in my head... And it's tiring to me. I told her Im not going to apologize for my beliefs. I'm not going to tone down my worship to make her comfortable.  I'm not going to stop my prayer requests... I'm not going to stop posting bible verses on Facebook. This is who I am. It's what I do.

We had a guest preacher tonight and he was so on fire for Jesus. He was captivating and the spirit reigned down. I felt all my burdens lifted. I felt peace in my soul. He talked about when you have Jesus in your heart you become a different person, a new person, and you live for Him.   You are free in Him. I truly felt God speaking through this preacher tonight... I know that I stood up for what I believed in. I did what I needed to when my faith was questioned. I feel at peace now. I feel better...

Ill admit, Im human... Im hurt... And while I don't know the extent of the damage done to our friendship, i will do my best to forgive. I pray that God opens the eyes to her heart and lets her be open to things that are different to her. Let her be open to hearing the good news and may God use me as a vessel. Amen.

Some bible verses that come to mind:

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let
God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.
Then you will learn to know
God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
Romans 12:2 (NLT)

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:
old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV)

John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.(NIV)

Bad Homework Night

So... yesterday the kids had early out. They were home by 130pm. The rule is work on homework, take out the dogs, no playing until everything is done. Ty didnt have any homework but Drew did (a math sheet and a spelling review). Ty said she will help Drew b/c I had a Dr appt and Drew had soccer as soon as I got home. Sounds great... it should all be done by the time I get back.

I call them on my way home from the Dr to tell Drew to get ready for soccer, but when I get there he isn's dressed... he was playing. The homework is on the counter, unfinished. Ty said he had a fit and she wasnt going to argue with him. Ugh!!! Fine... got him dressed and we would finish the 2nd page of math and do the spelling when we got back.

After soccer, I had him sit down while dinner was being made and he was just all over the place. Just do the damn math already. He was struggling to focus so I had him eat and Ty was helping him with spelling words... the whole thing ended in disaster and we all gave up and all of us went to our rooms.

I went in to talk to him about 10 mins later and he is sound asleep with the TV off and the lights on. I am wondering if the homework meltdown is b/c he was too tired. I prayed over him for a while and I went to bed.

I went in to wake him up this morning so we could try to finish what we started... and he looks at me all funny and said "Its already done". WHAT!?! No... it cant be done, there was an entire page to do. He said that he did it in his room. I looked at it and sure enough... he finished it in his room. What took fighting over for 5 hrs was done in 10 mins by himself. Lord have mercy!

I sure love that boy... but I think he caused some of my hair to go grey last night :)

Three Years Ago... and I still "I Do"

Three years ago today, I said "I Do" to the love of my life. I look back over all we have done in the past three years and wonder how it can only be three years, but at the same time I remember every detail of our wedding perfectly, like it was yesterday (it's that night that is a little hazy, LOL).

Bryan is an absolutely amazing man. He is a wonderful spouse, lover, and friend. He is a great dad to all the kids, not just his own. He loves all of us unconditionally despite our faults. He genuinly cares about us and takes such good care of us. I am so blessed that God chose to make me his wife.

I came across a quote the other day that fits this day perfectly... "God made wedding vows as strong as steel and fragile as glass. Protect and honor the promises you've made to each other. Don't let anything come between you." based off of Mark 10:9.

May God bless us and keep us... may every day He strengthen our marriage and our love for each other, and for Him. May He continue to bless us as a family.... keep us in good health, with a roof over our heads, jobs to go to and warm meals to eat.  I say these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

Friday Confessional

I Confess.... that I feel like an idiot. I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee and my legs were all tingly/asleep. I didnt realize until I had already stood up and I fell. A "POP" noise came from my ankle that was loud enough to wake my husband (although I am not sure how he didnt wake up to me falling...). I went to the Dr and Ive "sprained the dickens out of it", as he said. The popping maybe the ligament since no bones broke, waiting on the radiologist.

I Confess... I was more worried about my neck than my leg considering I am 5 weeks post-op and my head almost went through the wall. Luckily, no neck pain so I dont think I did anything. Neck XRays are next week.

I Confess... I am THRILLED that all these Christian bands are coming to Utah. It doesnt happen very often... last week we had David Crowder Band, tonight is MercyMe, and in 2 weeks Casting Crowns with Sanctus Real and the Afters.... all that in addition to Beth Moore. I feel God working in Utah!!!

I Confess... I am getting used to napping in the afternoons. I can only work up to 6 hrs a day currently so I work 5 in the office, go home and nap, and work my other hour when I wake up. How am I going to adjust to working all day again. Ugh!

Yay! I Got Pink Stuff!!!

I got my "Favorite Color Swap" package in the mail yesterday... and it was full of pink stuff! Thank you Amy (http://amyclairejacob.blogspot.com/) for putting together such a great package for me. Are you sure this was your first swap?!?!

I got so much fun stuff... bubble gum, mentos, coconut M&M's, yummy smelling coffee (with a pink bow to make it pink!), nail polish, lip gloss, a note book, a neat fleece blanket, some cool markers, etc.

AND.... a Harley-Davidson pink poker chip from Duluth. How freaking cool is that? I think I am going to start collecting them when we go places. I found out last night that my brother in law does so I need to hide this one so he doesnt add it to *his* collection!

Thank you again Amy! I hope you enjoy your package as much as I did mine. Those coconut M&M's were a lovely treat last night :)

Thanks Mamarazzi for putting this together. Fun times!

Where were you when the world stopped turning?

10 years? Already? It seems like yesterday b/c my heart still aches for all those directly affected by the terrorist attacks. My heart aches for the loss of life.

10 years ago this weekend, I was in Chicago with my parents, ex husband, and daughter. We were in town for a Notre Dame game and staying at my Uncle's condo downtown. I remember waking up and seeing on the TV that a plane had crashed into a building in NY. We kept watching and soon enough another plane... then the plane in the field... and the plane in the Pentagon. I remember my 1 year old child saying "Why those planes hit the buildings?" I don't know... I don't know why someone would want to cause that much havoc and chaos and destruction.

After a while we decided to turn off the TV and go to Navy Pier. We took a bus from the condo over and mentioned there wasn't many people on board. When we got off the bus, I swear the bus driver hauled ass to get away from us. Then we looked around and there were no more buses... or taxis... or anything. The city was eerily quiet.

We ended up having to walk back and we were directly across from the Sears Tower (which later we heard was another target) and I remember FREAKING out when I heard airplanes b/c there wasn't supposed to be any. All flights had been grounded. It ended up being Air Force planes doing circles around the Sears Tower but it was so cloudy that day, we couldn't see them.

We were stuck in Chicago for a while... took a couple of days to get a rental car and drive home. For years to come, my little girl continued to ask about planes and buildings and bad guys. Hurts my heart that she had to learn about that at such an early age. It is so sad that so many lives were lost for something so senseless. My brain isn't programmed like that... I don't think about hurting others. I just pray that people think about the consequences to their actions and the needless deaths end. I just want peace and safety and love. That's all...

Lord, I am sure there are many blessings that have come from this disaster and for that I thank you... but I know this weekend, many are going to focus on the heart ache and the terror. Father God, bring them peace and comfort. Let them remember all those who willingly helped out and for those who stood up for us and continue to stand for us today. Help us to know you better through the events that happened 10 years ago. Lord, I say these things in Jesus' name. Amen.