It's Time to Confess

I Confess...
That I bought all the stuff for the Spring Swap last night. Drew and I went together and he was fun to shop with. He picked about half of what my partner is getting. Hope you like it!!

I Confess...
I saw a LARGE bag of coconut M&M's and as tempted as I was, I did not buy any... yet!

I Confess...
Along with the LARGE bag of coconut M&M's, I saw they have Almond Joy Eggs now. Again, I didnt buy any... yet!

I Confess...
There have been situations this week when I have broke down crying... wanted to yell and scream and swear, but didnt.... there was times I wanted to just tell someone off, but didnt. I thank God for being my voice b/c the words I wanted to say this week were not friendly words.

I Confess...
There are times in life that you have to say "My way isnt working" and give it to God and see what He does with it... and a bad situation opened another door to something that may not have been an option. It's all about taking care of your kids and doing the best you can for them... even if they need some extra help to get them to where they should be.

I Confess...
I have to go to Ty's Maturation class next Friday and am dreading it. I didnt go to one when I was young... my mom gave me a book to read and said to talk to her if I had questions... there was no class to go to... so here I am at age 32 going to my first Maturation class with my 11 yr old daughter. Lord help us.

From a Daughter's Perspective...

We are working on our website and my husband asked me to write a letter on the Survivors/Caregivers Page from my perspective of my mom's breast cancer journey. Once I got the tears out of my eyes enough to see what I was typing, this is what I came up with...

From a daughter’s perspective…

What do you do when the rock of your family, the calming influence all of us turn to, the glue that holds us together, tells us she has cancer?

I’ve been through that… twice now. It’s scary. You go through a lot of emotions. You be there for them, you talk honestly and openly with each other. You spend a lot of time together. You try to focus on the positive and pray to overcome the negative. You take lots of pictures, make a scrapbook of their journey. You find everything you can with a pink ribbon and give it to them. Find inspirational messages to send in email. You send “I Love You” texts. You take walks together. You get pedicures together. You just love on each other.

I thank God every day for the closeness my mom and I have. She is an amazing women and has kept such a positive attitude during her journey with breast cancer. I truly believe that everyone is given things in their life for a reason and my mom is such an example of that. She took this negative time in her life and now speaks to other women on the benefits of early detection, she gives words of encouragement to women going through surgery and chemo, she is just an example of love.

For those of you going through this, here is a bible verse that helped get me though. I shared this with my mom along the way as well. I hope it brings you the peace it brought me.

Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

God Bless and much love,
Lisa Williams

Joshua 1:9

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

I wasn't feeling so strong yesterday... seemed like a lot of things were crashing around me. I took some time to ask God for help... to use His words and not my own... and it ended up being ok. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't get mad, I was able to talk reasonably. I ignored the things that needed to be ignored and addressed the things that needed to be addressed. I felt the support from Him that I needed and it got me through. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

Favorite Things Swap

These are a few of my favorite things.... It's another swap. Yay!!

Thankful For...

Although I still have a case of the blah's... I am going to list some things I am thankful for, that will help right?!

• I am thankful for the new flat iron my husband got me for Christmas.
• I am thankful for going for ice cream with my kids... went to SubZero last night, where they make your ice cream in front of you. Its like ColdStone and a science experiment all in one.
• I am thankful for my mom who knows when I am down and sends me sweet emails to make me feel better.
• I am thankful for my dad being able to fix Drew's bed so we didnt have to buy another one.
• I am thankful for the relationship I have with my sister. I love that she turns to me while her life is upside down.
• I am thankful for a warm house to live in during a cold winter snow storm.
• I am thankful for my church family. I have an amazing group of people around me to live life with.
• I am thankful for my husband. I love having him by my side.

Ugh!

Ugh! That's all I can say to describe how I feel right now... and I dont like feeling "Ugh!".

I've been grumpy all weekend... short on patience, quick to snip at people. I dont like being that mom... I want to be the happy fun mom, not the yelling, screaming mom. I just feel tired. I am a little worn down. My body hurts. I keep thinking maybe I am next in line for the bug that's been going around, but its been a good couple of weeks and I havent felt sick just "Ugh".

I'll be completely honest... I am terrified my fibromyalgia is flaring up again. I was diagnosed after I had Ty in 2000... but all symptoms went away in my 2nd trimester when I was pregnant with Drew. They said that somehow my pregnancy put me into remission... which is awesome b/c I was SOOOO tired... and I couldnt even lift my arms. It was so hard to care for Ty and I went into a depression. It wasnt a happy time in my life.

But here I am again being SOOOO tired... and my shoulders, arms, hips, back, and knee hurt. I know I should go to the doctor, but I am scared of what she is going to tell me.... I dont want to go back to how things were before, but I know that if its not better in the next couple of weeks I am going to have to call her.

So I just pray for the "ugh"-feeling to go away... I pray for energy, comfort, and strength. I pray for nice words to come out of my mouth and loving actions. Amen.

Friday Confessional

I Confess... that I just scarfed down a McDonald's burrito in like 2 bites. Didnt realize how hungry I was...

I Confess... I went to bed at 630pm last night. I got home from work, had dinner done before 5, did homework with the kids, went for ice cream, took a bubble bath and was in bed by 630pm. I was exhausted.

I Confess... I am a biker chick. I have worn something Harley-Davidson every day this week. I never thought I'd like a motorcycle, but its something I have grown to love doing with my husband. Dont get me wrong... if you see me drive by and my eyes are close, I am not to the point of sleeping on the back of the bike, I am praying!!

I Confess... My daughter can do her hair better than I can do it for her. She did some bun thing with flippy out pieces and a flower right in the middle. I cant even explain it, let alone do it!

I Confess... I am so looking forward to having NOTHING to do tomorrow morning. I can sleep in, read a book, lay around... doesnt matter. I dont have anything planned. Yay for that!