Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy today... if you are a Utah follower, you may have seen on the news about the pastor who just got 5 years to life in Prison for a relationship with a minor. That pastor was (is? I dunno) a dear friend of mine. He was someone who helped me through some tough times, someone who I was a youth leader under, someone I trusted and confided in. I am just heart broken for his wife and kids. I am heart broken for the 16 yr old girl. I am heart broken for everyone involved.


I am not going to get into a big debate about right and wrong... or about forgiveness. I am just going to pray for all of them. That God comforts them, encourages them, protects them, and takes care of them. I am going to thank God for using this situation to open lines of communication within my family and strengthened my church. I've got to look at the positives in this b/c really all I want to do is cry... I will praise Him in the storm. I know that there is a reason for all of this, I cling to that hope b/c right now none of it makes sense.

Dear Lord, thank You for Your promised presence. It comforts my heart to know that I am not alone. Lead me, Lord, through the unknowns in my life. Make Your path clear and I will follow it. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Spring Swap 2011

I participated in a Spring Swap and got a box from Colleen in NE yesterday. All sorts of fun spring stuff like sprinkles for cupcakes, flower bulbs and seeds, a shovel/rake, CANDY, a cute wall hanging, etc. 

Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!!

Random Drew-ism

So last night we were meeting Bryan at the motocycle mechanic to get some stuff done to his bike. We were waiting for him for a while and it started to get cloudy and I said "We should pray that Bryan gets here safely and before the bad weather" and Drew replied "We should just pray that Bryan hurry's up!" LOL

Don't Make Me Become a Mama Bear

"Mom, they took my purse and were yelling and calling me names and they took off with my phone and ipod and..." WHAT?!?

That's the phone call I got from my daughter on Saturday afternoon. She was at the mall with her friend and her friend's family. Ty and Sydney decided to go down to the photo booth at one end of the mall while the mom and sisters went into a store. While they were in the booth, some teenage kids were standing around while they were getting their pictures taken. Ty didnt want her purse to get in the picture so she sat it behind her. When the pictures were done, they stood up and exited the booth and when she got a couple feet away from the booth she realized she had picked up her shopping bag, but left her purse in the booth. As she turned around she saw the boys shoving her purse into their bookbag.

She went up to them and asked for it back and they played dumb "We dont have it"... she said, "I see it right there in your bag. Give it back" and they went on to say "We dont have your F-ing bag" and some other obscenities and took off running. Her phone, Drew's ipod, the phone charge, ear phones, a wallet with 50 cents, etc was all inside.

They called the mom from Syndey's phone and she came running and they called me and I told them to run into Quilted Bear and have the cashier call Security and I was on my way. I grabbed the boys and jumped in the car.

When I got down there, Ty and her friend's family were walking the mall to see if they saw them and I called dispatch to have the police come take a report. We waited about an hour for them to get  there and got all the information. In the mean time, security pulled the video and saw the whole thing happen and actually found the purse emptied out in the parking lot.

Thank God that Ty wasnt hurt. That is the main thing... the rest of the stuff can be replaced. It was a terrible thing to go through... she is very upset by it and nervous to be in public now. It was a good lesson for all 3 kids b/c it showed that there are video cameras all throughout the mall and just reaffirmed that stealing is wrong and you will get in trouble if you do it. Just wish it didnt have to be a real life example. :(

Friday Confessional.

I Confess... that I am still not excited about Maturation Class today. My daughter and I have already talked about things, she knows she can come talk to me if she has questions... but now we get to go sit in a class with all her peers and their mom's and talk about things. This is making me uncomfortable thinking about it. I swear yesterday she was a toddler. Today she is a young lady who little boobs and hips. Lord help me!

I Confess... that next week I am going to Vegas. Its for a soccer tournament for my stepson and we will only be there 2 nights, but it will still be fun to get a way.

I Confess... that I have the best parents. They are always willing to help when they can and it made my heart smile to talk to my dad last night and have him tell me all the big plans he has for the kids this summer since they will not be going to daycare.

I Confess... that work is a little crazy this week. Good crazy, I think. A lot of changes, people moving around, clients moving around, etc... I just pray for the best!

I Confess... that I still get irritated with my exhusband. I guess it shouldnt be such a suprise b/c he is an EX for a reason... but you'd think after all this time, we would have moved past certain things but no. The same issues come up time and time again. Its frustrating b/c really, its all about the kids... I'm remarried, he's had a live in girlfriend for over 5 yrs... the discussions we have should be focused around the upbringing of our children. What can we do to better thier lives. We may not be married anymore, but we need to be a team when it comes to parenting and a lot of the time I feel its a one-sided effort. I pray for him... a lot. I had the girls in bible study Wednesday night praying... b/c I really think life would be better for him if he knew Jesus.

I Confess... I heard it was going to be 55 degrees today and I broke out the capris. I am longing for spring!!

Happy 3:16

Post it. Tweet it. Text it. Say it to someone today. 3/16 day!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Drew's New Friend, Flat Stanley

Drew brought a new friend home from school with him yesterday. His name is Flat Stanley. FS is going to join us for movie nights, car trips, maybe soccer practices, or work, etc. Drew gets to write about his adventures with FS and we'll take pictures of his activities.

Last night, Drew and Flat Stanley got bundled up on the couch with stuffed animals and popcorn to watch a movie...

Maybe tonight FS would like to go for ice cream at SubZero!?!?

It's Time to Confess

I Confess...
That I bought all the stuff for the Spring Swap last night. Drew and I went together and he was fun to shop with. He picked about half of what my partner is getting. Hope you like it!!

I Confess...
I saw a LARGE bag of coconut M&M's and as tempted as I was, I did not buy any... yet!

I Confess...
Along with the LARGE bag of coconut M&M's, I saw they have Almond Joy Eggs now. Again, I didnt buy any... yet!

I Confess...
There have been situations this week when I have broke down crying... wanted to yell and scream and swear, but didnt.... there was times I wanted to just tell someone off, but didnt. I thank God for being my voice b/c the words I wanted to say this week were not friendly words.

I Confess...
There are times in life that you have to say "My way isnt working" and give it to God and see what He does with it... and a bad situation opened another door to something that may not have been an option. It's all about taking care of your kids and doing the best you can for them... even if they need some extra help to get them to where they should be.

I Confess...
I have to go to Ty's Maturation class next Friday and am dreading it. I didnt go to one when I was young... my mom gave me a book to read and said to talk to her if I had questions... there was no class to go to... so here I am at age 32 going to my first Maturation class with my 11 yr old daughter. Lord help us.

From a Daughter's Perspective...

We are working on our website and my husband asked me to write a letter on the Survivors/Caregivers Page from my perspective of my mom's breast cancer journey. Once I got the tears out of my eyes enough to see what I was typing, this is what I came up with...

From a daughter’s perspective…

What do you do when the rock of your family, the calming influence all of us turn to, the glue that holds us together, tells us she has cancer?

I’ve been through that… twice now. It’s scary. You go through a lot of emotions. You be there for them, you talk honestly and openly with each other. You spend a lot of time together. You try to focus on the positive and pray to overcome the negative. You take lots of pictures, make a scrapbook of their journey. You find everything you can with a pink ribbon and give it to them. Find inspirational messages to send in email. You send “I Love You” texts. You take walks together. You get pedicures together. You just love on each other.

I thank God every day for the closeness my mom and I have. She is an amazing women and has kept such a positive attitude during her journey with breast cancer. I truly believe that everyone is given things in their life for a reason and my mom is such an example of that. She took this negative time in her life and now speaks to other women on the benefits of early detection, she gives words of encouragement to women going through surgery and chemo, she is just an example of love.

For those of you going through this, here is a bible verse that helped get me though. I shared this with my mom along the way as well. I hope it brings you the peace it brought me.

Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

God Bless and much love,
Lisa Williams

Joshua 1:9

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

I wasn't feeling so strong yesterday... seemed like a lot of things were crashing around me. I took some time to ask God for help... to use His words and not my own... and it ended up being ok. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't get mad, I was able to talk reasonably. I ignored the things that needed to be ignored and addressed the things that needed to be addressed. I felt the support from Him that I needed and it got me through. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

Favorite Things Swap

These are a few of my favorite things.... It's another swap. Yay!!

Thankful For...

Although I still have a case of the blah's... I am going to list some things I am thankful for, that will help right?!

• I am thankful for the new flat iron my husband got me for Christmas.
• I am thankful for going for ice cream with my kids... went to SubZero last night, where they make your ice cream in front of you. Its like ColdStone and a science experiment all in one.
• I am thankful for my mom who knows when I am down and sends me sweet emails to make me feel better.
• I am thankful for my dad being able to fix Drew's bed so we didnt have to buy another one.
• I am thankful for the relationship I have with my sister. I love that she turns to me while her life is upside down.
• I am thankful for a warm house to live in during a cold winter snow storm.
• I am thankful for my church family. I have an amazing group of people around me to live life with.
• I am thankful for my husband. I love having him by my side.

Ugh!

Ugh! That's all I can say to describe how I feel right now... and I dont like feeling "Ugh!".

I've been grumpy all weekend... short on patience, quick to snip at people. I dont like being that mom... I want to be the happy fun mom, not the yelling, screaming mom. I just feel tired. I am a little worn down. My body hurts. I keep thinking maybe I am next in line for the bug that's been going around, but its been a good couple of weeks and I havent felt sick just "Ugh".

I'll be completely honest... I am terrified my fibromyalgia is flaring up again. I was diagnosed after I had Ty in 2000... but all symptoms went away in my 2nd trimester when I was pregnant with Drew. They said that somehow my pregnancy put me into remission... which is awesome b/c I was SOOOO tired... and I couldnt even lift my arms. It was so hard to care for Ty and I went into a depression. It wasnt a happy time in my life.

But here I am again being SOOOO tired... and my shoulders, arms, hips, back, and knee hurt. I know I should go to the doctor, but I am scared of what she is going to tell me.... I dont want to go back to how things were before, but I know that if its not better in the next couple of weeks I am going to have to call her.

So I just pray for the "ugh"-feeling to go away... I pray for energy, comfort, and strength. I pray for nice words to come out of my mouth and loving actions. Amen.

Friday Confessional

I Confess... that I just scarfed down a McDonald's burrito in like 2 bites. Didnt realize how hungry I was...

I Confess... I went to bed at 630pm last night. I got home from work, had dinner done before 5, did homework with the kids, went for ice cream, took a bubble bath and was in bed by 630pm. I was exhausted.

I Confess... I am a biker chick. I have worn something Harley-Davidson every day this week. I never thought I'd like a motorcycle, but its something I have grown to love doing with my husband. Dont get me wrong... if you see me drive by and my eyes are close, I am not to the point of sleeping on the back of the bike, I am praying!!

I Confess... My daughter can do her hair better than I can do it for her. She did some bun thing with flippy out pieces and a flower right in the middle. I cant even explain it, let alone do it!

I Confess... I am so looking forward to having NOTHING to do tomorrow morning. I can sleep in, read a book, lay around... doesnt matter. I dont have anything planned. Yay for that!

Spring Swap

I love swaps... I used to do them a lot, then fell away from blogging... but now that I am back, I've done two in the past couple of months and just found another one...

I think a Spring Swap will be fun... it means that the yucky winter will be gone soon. That's reason to celebrate, right?

If you are interested in signing up... here's the link : http://happinessisajourneyforjanna.blogspot.com/2011/03/spring-is-swapping-time.html

Changing from the inside out.

My friend from church isn't someone I would probably know in the outside world... he has a past of drugs and violence and dirt; however that isn't the person I know today. This person found Jesus and has changed his life. He is a Godly man who is very active in serving his community and loving on people. He is someone who can light up a room when he walks in, b/c Jesus is that bright in his life.

This man is now on his way to a Federal Prison in TX to do time for his past. After sitting down and talking to him the past couple of weeks, I know this is something from his past and not who he is today. Something he is ready to take responsibility for. Something he wants to put behind him. He is going away for a couple of years, but I know that he is going to spend that time ministering to others and changing lives from the inside out.

This morning my kids and I joined hands and prayed for him... for his family... for God to stay the center of their lives during this rough time, for comfort and support and love. We prayed that he touch those in Jesus's name who don't already know Him.

Until you are back to break our ribs with your enormous hugs, we'll be praying for you my friend. God Bless!

*** Update! On their way to TX, they got a call from the lawyer and they granted an extentsion. He will be home during the birth of his baby and not have to report in until mid-May. Praise God!! ***

Dang Girl Scout Cookies

Rather than discuss my lack of self control, I am going to blame my impending weight gain on the girl scouts. A friend of mine made a good point... why do they sell these cookies right before swimsuit season? Why cant they sell them in the fall right before you bundle up in jeans and sweaters?

Yes... I just about polished off the whole box of Samoas. Dang it.