Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Freaking Out!

So as I've mentioned, my neck pain is getting worse.

Nothing we have done so far is giving me relief and I've now got pain in other places. The next step was for a surgical consult with a neurosurgeon but he was so busy I couldnt get in until August 9th.

I called yesterday to let my spine doctor know that the pain is now in my left arm and I get dizzy when I turn my head. She went over to the neurosurgeon's office, told them whats going on and that she wanted the Dr to at least look at my notes and decide if I can wait another month to be seen.

His office just called... my appointment is moved up to this afternoon. I'm not going to lie... I am freaking out.

I haven't slept in about 3 nights, even with pain medication... I am exhausted. I am in pain. I am frustrated. I just want to cry. I feel some relief knowing I get to talk to him today,but then the thoughts of "What if he doesnt think surgery will work for me? What if he doesnt think he can do anything and I have to live like this?"

Lord, calm me. Calm my thoughts. Help me to be still. Be with the Doctor during my appointment so that he can be comforting and reassuring. Let me feel peace rather than anxiety. In Jesus's name, Amen.

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