Friday, February 17, 2012

Time To Confess


I confess... I am irritated with my weight loss this week. I have worked my hardest, ate my best, and I am going up on the scale. I feel a little defeated. I hear alot of people say "that's b/c you are gaining muscle"... well, that's great, but until I see the scale going down instead of up I get upset.

I confess... I prayed this morning about this fitness adventure. It told God that I am going to keep at it, I am going to keep working hard b/c my goal is to be in top shape so I can best serve His people in Guatemala in a few months. If that means I dont look slimmer or go down a pants size, that's b/c I am supposed to look like I do... but I want my heart physically (emotionally and mentionally) to be healthy.

I confess... I tried my husband's Boom! supplement yesterday before the gym. I had a burst of energy and had my hardest workout on the Arc Trainer. I did it again today and thought I was going to die, but I pushed through and finished all 30 minutes. Phew, I am tired!

I confess... I got upset with my ex this week. This weekend is his holiday, he's known this for months and text me telling me he has to work on Saturday and on Monday so he decided not to take the kids. And for me NOT to call his family b/c I shouldnt burden them. Really? I think of my children as a blessing and a joy, not a burden. I know for a fact that they dont feel that way... I think there is only one person who does and that's him. It makes me sad. The good thing is my kids KNOW they are loved, regardless of that.

I confess... my ex also told me he is having surgery in March, right before the weekend he is supposed to have the kids. He told us this after he told us he isnt having the kids for President's Day and my daughter got mad and said, "Im calling Grandma". I told her to make sure Grandma knew it was her that wants to be there, not that I am asking for it b/c I am fine with them being home... so she calls her Grandma and says " My dad's having surgery and he wont take us that weekend... but you want us huh?". I could hear his mom say "Of course...we'll work out the details". I am so thankful for the people that my children have in their life and that they are mature enough to see passed the crappy parts.

I confess... my daughter is having a sleepover with a friend tonight and I am happy to have some time with Drewby. Even if he'd rather go to McDonald's than Cafe Zupa (which is what I am craving).

What are you confessing? Swing over to Mamarazzi's blog and link up!

1 comment:

Mamarazzi said...

such a bummer when a parent doesn't value time with their children enough to do the SHOW UP!

sorry i am slow getting here, some weeks just get away from me. thanks for linking up, love your confessions and i really appreciate that you play along!