Cancerspot.org

Over the summer I found a blog online about a lady named Jacki and her journey with breast cancer. Alot of the quotes I put into my mom's scrapbook came from her site.

The other day she had a requests for what breast cancer looks like... I sent her a couple of pictures and a short story and it was published yesterday. You can view it from the link below:



http://cancerspot.org/?p=1930

Jacki, good luck with your cancer journey. Thank you for putting your story out there for others to learn from you. I wish you the best!

Ty's take on death...

I talked to Ty today to find out if she wanted to go to Chelsea's funeral with me. I left it completely up to her and she said she wants to go, so I will take her out of school Wednesday to go. She said "Momma, I didnt know her too good but she was nice when ever I saw her". Good enough reason for me.

Drew asked what a funeral was and Ty replied "Its when you go to say goodbye to someone who died... but its ok, we are only saying goodbye for a little while. We will see her again in heaven".

Amen.

I can't imagine...

On Saturday I got a phone call from my friend to tell me that an old coworker from AOL's daughter had passed away. Her daughter was 8 yrs old.It's so surreal, my daughter had just played with her about a month ago.

I am not close with this family yet I am so upset. I cant imagine what this family is going through.

From what I was told, she was diagnosed with mono on Friday and ended up passing away shortly after her diagnosis. It makes me think back to right after I had Drew and I got so sick... I had mono and it affected my heart, it deteriorated my muscle and there was talk of needing a heart transplant because of it. Makes me wonder if this was something similar. Either way, tonight there is a mother who is heart broken and although I believe that God has a plan for each of us, the death of a child is so hard to accept.

My prayers are with the Hadley family... and events like this make me want to hug my children a little longer. You never know...

Another Friday night at the GP.

Yesterday, Drew said "Momma... Fridays are my favorite days... they are when we go to the Genesis Project". That blew me away b/c my 6 yr old loves going to church that much. I feel so blessed to have found this new place to worship.

I took my kids and Bryan, met Blake and some people I go to church with at Ascension, and Jenny met us at GP and went to worship last night. Bryan is not a church goer, so I wasnt sure what he would think of it all. Its not your traditional church and I was hoping that that fact would help him.

The music came on and people got up and started clapping and the whole time I was looking at Bryan out of the corner of my eye and he was enjoying himself. The music was great, so I felt that was a given.

Pastor Matt got up to give a sermon and the whole time Bryan was nodding inagreement to what he was saying. It made my heart feel good.

When we were leaving, Bryan said it was very cool and that he would come back again. Yay!

I found this really cool video that I wanted to share...

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=54367491Welcome to The Genesis Project


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GP- Bible Study

Last night I went with some gals from church to bible study. I am not a bible study type girl, but said I would go anyhow to see how it was. I think the only time I have been to bible study before was at Family Camp this past summer. It really wasnt my thing. I believe in the bible, but have a hard time reading it. I am open minded and figured I would give it a shot. If I didnt like it, I wouldnt go back again.

We went to the Genesis Project. I had my kids with me so I checked them into the Kid's Kingdom, got my "Carmel Thing" coffee drink, and sat down with my bible.

The pastors sat at the front of the room, said a welcoming prayer, accepted prayer requests and then started talking about self-control. They explained different passages in the bible in a way that made sense to me. I had a good time and walked out with such a great feeling.

The kids had fun with their groups... Drew had no problem going by himself (which is odd, b/c I an now an unofficial Sunday school helper b/c he wont go to Sunday school without me and its been 2 yrs!) and they didnt want to leave when it was time to go. They wanted to make sure that they would be able to come back on Friday b/c they had so much fun.

I think the funniest part of the night is when Drew walked into the coffee shop area and saw a guy with a HUGE blue/green mohawk. Drew has a little mohawk so just stared at this guy in awe. Ty bumps him and says "stop staring" and the guy laughs and says "You think you will grow yours like mine??". Drew said "Are you sure this is church??? I think its crazy hair day instead" LOL!

Drew take on St Patrick's day

This morning Drew says "Does St Patrick's Day just last a day or all week? B/c I dont have enough green shirts for all week"

Then when I picked him up from school he said "I am not sure I like this day... leprechan's smell like garbage and make a mess. He turned chairs over in my classroom and left stuff everywhere".

Good thing he wore green b/c I think he would have had a fit if someone pinched him. Silly kid!

Interesting how life works out…

Years ago, my ex-husband and I hung out with a couple I’ll call B/H. I met B while working at AOL and we became friends quickly and we all would hang out every weekend… going to fireworks together, going to Wendover, just hanging out and playing cards and games. (I think Ty was less than a year old during this time, so we are talking about 7-8 yrs ago.)

For the life of me I cannot remember why we lost touch with this couple… I know something happened, but I really cannot remember what it was. Anyhow, I ran into H about 2 yrs ago at the restaurant she is a server at. She sat down at the table with my kids and my parents and proceeded to tell me all that had happened in her life… how she and B split up and how things had changed...That was the last time I heard from her.

A couple weeks ago my ex-husband asked if he could switch the weekends that he has the kids so it would coordinate better with the girl he was dating and her schedule with her kids. I told him that if he starts taking them as he should, and not just 1x a month, I would do that… in the end it would benefit me and Bryan b/c then we could work with his ex-wife regarding Taylor so maybe we could actually be on a schedule of either all kids or no kids on the weekends. He said he needed to talk to his girlfriend and he’d get back to me.

Next day he says “H wants to know if we can have the kids on Monday to take to dinner so they can meet”… I told him that was fine and didn’t think anything about it. Then he says “We are still working things out with B regarding weekends with the kids”…. Uh, ok. Coincidence that the girlfriend is the same name as an old friend and her ex-husband is the same name as the person that old friend was married to? Probably not… but I still didn’t say anything.

On Saturday, my ex text me and asked if he can have the kids Thursday as well so our kids can meet her kids. Then he said “Have you figured out who H is yet?” He said he wanted me to know ahead of time so I wasnt taken by suprise when I saw them together.

Uh, yeah. It’s a little weird… b/c part of me wonders if something happened between them all those years ago… but what’s in the past is behind us and I have moved on with my life. I want him to be happy, I want him to move on, I want him to play an active part in the kids’ lives and not only be there when it’s convenient for him.

I don’t want my kids to get hurt… so I hesitate for him to jump in so whole-heartedly involving them. He was dating a girl for like 3-4 yrs and the kids adored her and loved her daughter and Drew doesn’t understand what’s going on and is having a hard time with not having them around, but I told my ex my concern and he said things would be ok so maybe its more serious than I think. I dunno, his life is not my business; I just need to protect my kids. That’s my job.

All in all, I know she is a good person… the kids think she is nice, they are excited to meet her kids. I wish him the best… Good luck!

Race for the Cure

Komen Salt Lake City Race for the Cure®May 9, 2009


Dear Friends and Family,
I recently accepted the challenge to raise funds to support the Komen Salt Lake City Race for the Cure® on May 09, 2009 in the fight against breast cancer. One in eight women will be stricken with breast cancer in her lifetime and the more we raise, the more the Salt Lake City Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure can give back to fund vital breast cancer education, screening and treatment programs in our own community and support the national search for a cure.
Click here to visit my personal page and pledge your support.

Please join me in the fight by pledging in support of my participation in the Race or contributing generously to the Komen Salt Lake City Race for the Cure®. Your tax-deductible contribution will fund innovative outreach and awareness programs for medically underserved communities in the Salt Lake area and national breast cancer research. It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make a donation online by simply clicking on the link at the bottom of this message. If you would prefer, you can also send your tax-deductible contribution to the address listed below. Whatever you can give will help! I truly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

Thank you so much for your time and support in the fight against breast cancer! Every step counts!

Sincerely,
Lisa Williams

To sponsor my participation online, click here.

Be Blessed to be a Blessing.

For the past couple of weeks I kept hearing the name "Genesis Project" but I didnt know what it was. I asked a gal I know from church and she said its a non-denominational church in Ogden that has great music and an awesome coffee shop. Hmmm, two of my fav things!

I looked it up online and found they have a MySpace page with calendars of events and pictures and whatnot. Looked kind of fun, but not at all what I am used to in a traditional church setting. They have alot of activities and some of the people I go to church with on Sundays are going to their Friday night worship service. Michelle asked me if I wanted to go so I went with her and some others last night.

Its on 20th and Lincoln in Ogden. Its a big building that you wouldnt think is a church from the outside. When you walk in the front doors, its a big room with a stage up front and chairs and tables everywhere. Michelle went to save us seats and we went around the corner to another room and there is Rock Salt Coffee Shop. They had amazing lattes!

When worship started, there was a band that played first... guitars, drums, singing. It was fun to get up and sing and clap and whatnot. Then their youth pastor got up to give a sermon. He talked about seeing things as Jesus saw them and what would Jesus do if he was in our shoes. He told us to be blessed to be a blessing. (From what I was told, this was more of a serious sermon than they normally do on Friday nights but all in all I thought it was nice.)Then a band from Washington state came on stage and we stayed around for a little bit and went home about 930pm.

There was about 3 rows of people from my church there...some of the kids that my kids hang out with at Sunday school and 4-H. My kids are with their dad this weekend but I plan to take them back there next week. I think they would enjoy the music and if not, there is a kids area that does some fun activities that they can go to. Heck, Bryan said he may even go with us... he is up for a Chai tea and some music. This church is known to be "the church for those who dont go to church" so you never know! LOL

A funny Drew story

Yesterday I was reading about how Venus is only going to be viewable from Earth for the next little while then we wont be able to see it again in our lifetime.

I was driving the kids to school this morning and saw the Moon and it reminded me of that story, so I was telling the kids about how it's going to go away out of our view and Ty was asking questions like "does that mean its going to turn into a star like Pluto did?" and things that she learned in her science class.

Drew on the other hand got very quiet and I noticed tears in his eyes. I asked him what's wrong and he said "You told me Jesus was always going to be with us, what do you mean he is going away?". He thought I said JESUS when I said VENUS and was very upset!

I explained to him what I said... about the planet and that I didnt say Jesus. Took the rest of the car ride for him to think it over and said "Good mom, b/c I would be very sad if Jesus went away".

Big Love

There has been alot of hubbub this week regarding one of my favorite shows, Big Love.

There is talk of some temple secrets being revealed in the next episode. I have been reading comments on KSL and Standard.net and the people who are commenting are upset b/c they think its the Polygamists who are going in the temple in the show and people are going to have the wrong impression on the Mormon's stand on polygamy.

If they watched the show, they would know that the 1st sister wives' family is LDS and its the sister and brother in law who are temple-worthy... if thats not who does the endowment ceremony and/or gets excommunicated, I'll be very suprised... but thats what I get from the previews. (Not once have the Hendrickson's had anything to do with the temple... all ceremonies have taken place in their backyard)

*** 3/11/09 update: From what was released today, its the 1st wive who is going into the temple as the LDS church was notified of her polygmus ways and she has to make a decision of what beliefs to follow***

The LDS church made a comment today that they aren't going to boycott HBO and asked their members to be thoughtful... and HBO said they didnt mean to offend anyone, but they are still going to air the show b/c it would affect the storyline not to. The 2 big people involved are ok with it...

My feelings... nothing is going to change no matter how upset people get in their comments on these sites so if you dont like it, dont watch it. Its a fictional show. I love the show... I dont know (or care) how much is factual to current or past beliefs, I just find it a fun show that's based in Utah and has alot of twists and turns and is some good entertainment and not something you can not take it to heart.

Just my thoughts... not meant to offend anyone :)

PSS: Then and Now

Heidi asked what are 2 things you could do as a kid that you cant do now as well as what can you do now that you couldn't do as a kid?

As a kid:
*Bungee jump- When I did it, I was scared and the guy had to push me from the platform… but now the thought of even doing it makes me sick and I wouldn’t attempt it.

*Play softball- I started when I was 7 yrs old. I was on all sorts of All-Star teams and whatnot, even played for my cousin’s boys baseball team for a season b/c they didn’t have catcher. I lived and breathed the sport. Then after I broke my leg playing AOL softball back in 1997/1998 it all just went down hill… I got very nervous about playing for fear of getting hurt again and it’s never quite been the same since… but also since then my ex-husband loaned my equipment to his brother and it got lost… then when I replaced it to play a couple years back, I left it at my ex-boyfriend’s and I haven’t seen it since. Not feeling so lucky when it comes to playing anymore, I guess! LOL

As an adult:
I guess I could say drink, smoke, get tattoos, gamble, etc… b/c those all have age limits on them and are things you can’t legally do as a child.

*Drive- I was thinking about this the other day. I was driving my kids somewhere and I was thinking about road trips with my family. It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago that I was in the back of the station wagon… and now I am driving my own children all over the place.

*Stay up as late as I want (which is normally before 10pm), eat whatever I want (which is normally pretty healthy), go to church if I want (which is every weekend). It’s funny. You grow up thinking you are going to make all these big decisions for yourself, yet they end up being very similar to what you did when you were little!

Good appointment!

It was a good appointment... The doctors said its healing up nicely. She doesnt need to wear anything on it anymore, she can go back to PE class, and best of all; she can wash her hair!

We dont need to go back again until the end of the month for her 6 wk post-op visit. The dr was so cute. He gave Ty a hug and told her he is glad she is his patient and she is such a smiley girl. He said he was going out of town today and had been worried about leaving her with all the problems, but after seeing her he feels she will be fine but told us who to call if there is any problems.

He said that if we do have to do the left side, he is going to rethink the plan of action. He feels that the origional drain during surgery caused all the complications so if we do need to do the other side then we are going to use a different drain and in a different location.

It's been 3 months since the left side has swelled up so we are hoping we dont have to worry about that for a while. Thanks for all the well wishes, prayers, and crossed fingers. Its been a long 2 wks!

Wish us luck!

We are headed back down to Primary Children's to have Ty looked at to see if we can take off the "jaw bra". There is a little drainage as of last night, but nothing bad. The skin under her ear is flat, kinda hard, but not at all swollen. She wants nothing more than to take the wrapping off and wash her hair.

Wish us luck!!

The 6th Picture

The Rules: Go to the document settings/my pictures on your computer. Choose your 6th file. Choose your 6th picture. Blog about it. Tag 6 more people!
I Tag: Amy, Heidi, Megan H, Meagan B, Monica, and Kim E.



This picture of Ty was from 2 Christmas's ago at the 2 Bit Cafe on 25th Street. James (the owner) does magic for the kids and they think going there is the coolest thing. The food there takes a while, but its worth the wait. My parent's love going there, my dad's favorite is the garlic burger!

Post-Surgery update

I took Ty back to Primary’s today. The doctor had a surgery day but he came in to look at her. We discussed the leak in the drain but he said the swelling was down so much and the area was so flat that she doesn’t need the drain anymore. He said there maybe some draining from the hole where the tub was, but that will seal off. He said with as flat as it is now, he doesn’t anticipate it getting that lump again but if it does to let him know. We go back again on Thursday and if things look good then, she will get to take the “jaw bra” off and we don’t need to go back until the end of the month. Cross your fingers!

PSS: Speak up or Shut up?

PSS question: "If you had a good friend who was in a bad relationship, would you say something or keep your mouth shut? Why did you choose what you did?"

I have a very good friend who was in a relationship for years that was physically abusive, when she got done with that only a few months went by before she got into another relationship and it headed in that direction as well. The physical side has ended (as far as I know), but the emotional and verbal is still there. There is constant fighting, name calling, etc. There as been talk of cheating on his part and I just feel it’s a bad deal all around.

She is an amazing person… has two kids that are her world… would drop anything to help anyone and it kills me to see her being walked over time and time again. She has been engaged to her boyfriend for over 2 yrs b/c she cannot commit to marriage, although they live together. She deserves better than what she has but she is scared to be alone. She doesn’t think someone else would want her having 2 kids by 2 different dads and I know that being in this relationship is really wearing on her. She isn’t as happy as she used to be and it makes me sad. She deserves better than this.

I’ve spoken my peace time and time again… and am now to the point that I keep my mouth shut and just stick by her regardless of what she does b/c I feel that’s what a good friend does. She knows my feelings on it all… and my offers to help her… but ultimately the decision has to come from her when she feels the time is right, right?

Post-Op Problems Part 2

I picked Ty up from school on Friday and took her back downt o Primary Children's. They told me if her neck didn't feel flat like my own, then I need to bring her in. I had Drew with me this time too so I made sure his DS was charged so he would stay occupied- for a while I forgot he was there, he was so quiet! Such a good boy!

When we got there, the resident said that they agreed driving down daily to have it aspirated was too much so they were going to put in a drain. They got her up on the table, numbed her up, made an incision under her ear, and put in a tube. He stitched the tubing to her skin, packed guaze around it and then wrapped the vial to her arm with co-ban. She was hoping she wouldnt have to wear the "jaw-bra" anymore, but no such luck.

They told me I would need to change that vial if it got too full, if there was stuff in the tubing that didnt make it to the vial b/c of loss of suction, or daily if I didnt have to for the other two reasons.

Everything was great Friday and Saturday, but Sunday morning I unwrapped her head and realized she had alot of drainage on her guaze pads. It looks like the tube pulled out a bit. I tried to push it in and put some tape on it and wrapped her head back up. I then changed the vial and it made a hissing noise.

We went to church and nothing was in the vial... so I packed up all her stuff and took it to my mom's for her to look at it. I showed her where the tube goes into her neck and she said that it looks like it did pull out some. I changed the vial and again it hissed and she confirmed there was a leak. She said to just let it be for a while and when we checked it again, the only drainage was from her incision site.

The resident we had been dealing with had moved on to the U, so the new guy (Dr MacCool) is who I talked to. I had to explain everything to him that we've been through and he said as long as there is drainage somewhere, she'd be ok. You cant measure it as well; however as long as its not pooling under her ear again we dont need to go back until tomorrow. One less trip to SLC sounds good to me.

She had alot of drainage this morning when I got her ready for school, nothing in the tube though. I doubled up on the gauze pads, tighted up her head wrap, wrapped her arm so that you cant see any of the vial, helped her put a sweatshirt on, she put on her cute new hat and she went off to school. Hopefully all goes well.... Cross your fingers!